I've been waiting to write this chapter for ages!
Batsis is one year younger than Jason, yet she is the sanest of her siblings.
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Stephanie: Hey, you ever think about how weird synonyms are?
Tim: Yeah, synonyms are weird, because if I invite you to my cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but as soon as I invite you to my cabin in the woods, we're all going to die apparently.
Dick: My favorite is explaining the difference between butt dial and booty call.
Damien: They are called connotations.
Jason: Okay, but what about: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned" and "I'm sorry Daddy, I've been naughty"
(Y/N):........Why are you like this?
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Dick: Why divide people by unrational things, when you could divide them by whether their wording for cotton candy is valid or not?
Tim: First of all, it's irrational, not unrational. Secondly, what?!
(Y/N): No, for once I see what he means. In American English it's cotton candy, but in Australian English it's fairy floss.
Jason: Which is not valid.
Damien: In Spanish and German English it is sugar cotton.
Jason: Good. It's valid.
(Y/N): I read somewhere that the French call it 'daddy's beard'.
Jason: Not vali- The French call it what?!
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Damien: I learned about lollipops today, let me just say that they are weird and disgusting!
Dick: Why do you say that?
Damien: When you suck on it, you're basically flavoring your on spit and then you drink it!
Tim: What-no!
(Y/N): No, no, no. He has a point.
Stephanie: You say that right as I'm sucking on a lollipop.
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(Y/N): Timmy, do you want me to put any coffee creamer in your coffee?
Tim: So that's what it's for?! All this time, I thought the coffee creamers were just a stand alone thing that you didn't put in your coffee, but they're good to drink sometimes. Which always confused me, since they didn't taste like coffee.
(Y/N): Tim, you're 19. How did you not know this?
Tim: I don't have a lot going on in my life, besides batstuff.
(Y/N): When was the last time you saw someone make coffee?
Tim: I can't remember the last time I saw anyone outside the family.
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Jason: My upstairs neighbor keeps vacuuming his floor when I'm sleeping at night.
(Y/N): So what did you do?
Jason: The obvious thing.
(Y/N): You told him to vacuum during the day, because it bothers you at night?
Jason: Pfft no! I started vacuuming my ceiling as he sleeps at 3 am.
(Y/N): ......I don't know whether to be impressed or disappointed.
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Damien: Japanese death row in mates are not told their execution date, so everyday they wake up wondering if it will be their last.
Jason: Sounds like they want to leave them hanging.
(Y/N): You are a terrible person for making that joke, and I am a terrible person for laughing.
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Tim: I want emo versions of idioms. So instead of saying, 'You're barking up the wrong tree' it's 'You're panicking at the wrong disco'
Jason: You can lead a horse to Evenescence, but you can't bring it to life.
(Y/N): This isn't my first black parade.
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That was fun!
Might do another in future. I connect to the last one because I am in fact an Emo and MCR is life.
Hope you enjoyed!
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Batfamily one shots
FanficOne shots, incorrect quotes and songfics with the batfamily. Come check it out. Requests are closed until further notice. No NSFW Hope you enjoy.
