Batfamily Incorrect Quotes (Damien Wayne x Reader)

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To apologize for not updating.

A/N: Damien and reader are 18 while Jon is 16.

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Jon: So what's it like dating Damien?

(Y/N): Well, he once asked me for a glass of water while I was mad at him, so I just gave him a cup full of ice and told him to wait.

Jon: Then what happened?

(Y/N): He just grabbed the ice out of the cup and started eating it with the angriest look on his face. I have never been more terrified and attracted to him as much as I was then.

Jon:....... 

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Dick, trying to get answers out of Tim: So, do you have a crash on anyone? 

Tim, without even looking away from his computer screen: The only crush I have is crushing anxiety.

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[playing minecraft]

Jason: Bruce, where the hell are you?! 

Bruce, stuck in a two block deep hole in a cave, sobbing: I don't freaking know!

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(Y/N), when she first met Jon and Damien: Why are you following me?

Jon: We're friends now.

(Y/N): Okay..... and why is the angry gremlin following me?

Jon: Well, you see-

Damien: We are a package deal, you brat!

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Younger Wally: We've been trying to tell you this for years. Your bacon allergy is a lie.

Younger Barbara: Bruce made it up so you'd eat healthy as a kid.

Younger Dick: No, no! I'm just allergic to a lot of stuff.

Younger Dick: Bacon, donuts, Halloween candy, not saying 'thank you'.

Younger Barbara:......

Younger Wally:.......

Younger Dick:........Oh my gosh-

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(Y/N): How can you say that Damien is evil? He is the most precious, soft, little soul!

Damien, wiping blood off his face: YES, I AM THE MOST PERFECT SOUL THERE IS!

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[texting Bruce]

Jason: Update, I may or may not be in a cult.

Jason: Update 2, I may or may not be the leader of said cult.

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Duke: Did you eat all the powdered donuts?

Tim, mouth full of food: No.....

Duke: Then what's that on your pants?

Tim: That's cocaine.

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Damien: 20 years from now, I guarantee you, I will be (Y/N)'s second husband.

(Y/N): What happened to my first husband?

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