So, about last night.
I slept with J.
I woke up this morning not exactly sure how to feel. No, I didn't stay over at his house. I wasn't ready for that kind of thing yet where you stay at the guys house and then he either wakes up and cooks you breakfast or calls you an uber and bids you goodbye saying, "See you around!" while you hobble disgracefully to the car in yesterday's clothes.
Um..
Awkward
This whole dating thing was new to me. I realised that I never really dated properly before in my life.
I got out of a serious relationship and then jumped straight away, into another.
So to say I was a little green in the dating department was a complete and total, understatement.
The worst part of it all was not being able to shake this feeling of well, guilt..
Don't get me wrong- J was good. I mean, really good in bed. Maybe that's why my conscience scolded me incessantly through the night.
I had enjoyed it a little more than I would have liked to and now..
I felt like I'd cheated on Tae.
So naturally, my first impulse was to do something that I hadn't done in a while.
Search for him on the internet.
I sit up in bed, still naked save for my lacy briefs and wrapping the comforter around me like a shroud, I reached for my laptop on the floor next to the bed.
Sitting up, straighter against the head board, I have to take a deep breath, not sure that I'm prepared to see a current picture of him or to know what he is up to.
The search bar flashes and after quickly typing in his name, the top search results all lead to video links and live streams.
The premier of his movie is today.
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