A year without my love With a Twist

Choices and Decisons

Lena's: POV
As l lay awake in bed thinking about what Stef said. Was she going to throw fifteen years of our marriage away, l don't know if I will survive my life without her, l know that I only have myself to blame for this. The only thing, that l can think of doing right now is to go for a run and clear my head, this is the hardest decision that I ever had to make,
I slipped out of bed so that l don't wake Stef. I walk over to the dresser and pull out a pair of jogging shorts, tights, and a tank top, l take a quick shower
I never wanted Stef to feel like she was second best. My heart is beating so fast. When did l become this person so involved with everything that I neglect my wife of all people, she doesn't me the way l have been treating lately. Everybody saying I've changed, ever since I decided to run for state assembly. I thought l was doing the right thing, l failed my wife. I'm putting this election before my marriage.
I don't consult with stef, anymore, we don't spend time together like we use to. After l get out of the shower, l dry off
I can't allow myself to cry. But my emotions are running, l should never sign up for this election. It's destroying marriage that I wanted for so long. It's time that I take full control of my life again, I'm going to have to schedule a meeting with Kathy, so l can drop out of this election and become me again. After l get dress, l grab my sneakers and socks to go downstairs. I know Kathy is not going to be too happy, but who cares all she. seems to care about these days how many votes. That l can get
I know without a doubt in my mind, I'm making the right decision. I hope that when I get back from my jog, I'll be at peace with everything. Stef has stood by me all these years, she could have left me a long time ago
But she didn't. My love for her will last a lifetime, Damn it
My anniversary is in two weeks,
How could I forget the important day of my life? I have no idea what to get Stef. Maybe we can go somewhere for a week, we really haven't been able to really connect. The only time we were intimate is when we came home two weeks ago. The only thing that's lacking is us talking to each other. We always said that traveling would be part our lives once the kids moved out of the house. I still remember when we first brought our home in missions bay. This is new house doesn't feel like home, l still grieve our daughter Frankie.
I  think about her all the time
Every time I'm alone l feel her presence surrounding me. That's the one thing I never got to do was experience motherhood, my memories of my girl who l never got to hold in my arms. She would have been nine years old now.