A year without my love With a Twist

The talk part one

Stef's : POV
It's been a couple of days since
We went out to dinner with our friends. Lena's has been acting strange lately, she's not her usual self. This morning she told me
She had a doctors appointment
And she wanted me to go with
Her. I hope there's nothing seriously wrong, but why can't
Lena just tells me. Instead of dragging with her to see the doctor, so l decided to go for moral support. Lena's already up and dressed, she's downstairs making breakfast. While I'm getting ready, l know last night
Wasn't the best time to talk about
What Sara said at dinner.
I know Lena likes to close herself off when she's going through something. Sometimes I can read Lena pretty well,
It's the cop instinct in me
I may be retired from the force
But I can always tell when something's not right with Lena
Just like the time when ana was over our. house with her parents
Talking about religion, and when Lena admit she couldn't stand the sight of looking at Frankie's tree in the backyard our old house. She confessed that she was depressed and she was still grieving the loss of the daughter we never got to meet.
She held her pain inside for months, until that day Lena broke down in my arms. She was hurting more than I thought
I didn't see the signs that Lena
Was struggling with depression
Because l had been so focused on other things to realize she's needed me. No matter what
Lena's going through she has always manages to be there for
The kids. That's just how she is
Putting the important people first, before herself.
I see why the children go to her when they have a problem,
Lena doesn't raise her voice
Me on the other hand.
I'm stern with them and they know l mean business,

Lena's: POV
I'm downstairs cooking breakfast
For me and Stef. I asked her to go with me to the doctors,
I haven't told her the real reason
Why l wanted her to come.
I'm only going for a check up
And have my levels checked,
I pray that everything rules in my favor today. I have always wanted a baby, but after we lost Frankie. I had been so depressed
That l didn't want Stef touching me. Every time she would come near me, I pushed her away cause she didn't want me to have a baby. I was mad at her for a while but we found out that I was pregnant at jude and Callie's adoption. I had been scared to her, when I did tell her the news
She looked at me confused.
And then she was on board with me wanting this baby. She supported me, and after we loss our daughter she became distant
I ended up leaving her for a while. Cause I felt disconnected from her, she wasn't there to confront me when I was hurting
Stef was so busy with work and the kids.it was hard to process what l was feeling. I felt abandoned and loss at that moment, when she broke down
I wasn't around but she called me and told she missed our daughter. From the tone in her voice, I knew she been crying
When we went to couples therapy l didn't bring up the miscarriage. I only brought up
Our lack of communication, Stef was always the one. To make a joke when things got serious, that's her way of coping.
I never found this side of her funny, my heart was broking
She didn't think we had a problem. In our marriage
She thought we were fine, but we  weren't. Stef was the kind of person who never like to share how she felt on the inside.