Birth of an Anxious Wolf

Chapter 27

A few weeks later and things had fallen into a rhythm. Virgil had at this point learned how to control his shifting enough that he didn’t need to worry about the full moon anymore. And he was training regularly, but after that nightmare he wouldn’t leave Roman’s side. He followed him around like a little duckling follows it mama. He also refused to sleep anywhere but Roman’s arms in fear of having a nightmare. Roman didn’t mind though he reveled in the attention Virgil was giving him. A sharp contrast to before. 

Patton and Virgil were getting along famously now. Patton making Virgil laugh with his bad dad jokes and the two of them talking about nothing, but everything at the same time. Their instincts to be friends kicking in full force. They had such a fun loving dynamic that their mates got slightly jealous on occasion. 

The bruises Molly arrived with had almost completely faded, and her injury on her leg was nothing more than a nasty scar. She didn’t mind though. The scar looked like an native american arrow head and she bragged that she didn’t need a tattoo because she already had one. Her weight also had almost become a what the other’s would consider healthy. That was thanks in part by Patton who had been managing her diet. She did have a bad habit of forgetting to drink water which caused her a lot of dehydration headaches. But the others had made it a regular thing to ask her if she had drank any water recently whenever starting a new conversation with her.

Things were going well, at last, and Virgil didn’t want that to end. However, he needed to get something off his chest. If he truly wanted to feel like a part of them and not someone on the sidelines. He needed to open up and tear down his last protective wall. Molly needed to know anyways. It was only fair. 

_________

Roman, Logan, Patton, Molly and Virgil had all finished watching a movie. The credits rolling when Virgil grabbed the remote and muted the sound. “Hey, um… guys? Can I talk to you about something?” Virgil said hesitantly. 

“Of course my emo nightmare, what’s up?” Roman stated the rest of the room giving him their undivided attention. 

“So, I uh, I think it's only fair that I explain, um why I was the way I was when you guys, um..” Virgil paused trying to think of the right term. “uh discovered me.” That didn’t sound quite right but it would have to do.

The faces in the rooms varied from shock to apprehension they didn’t want Virgil to make himself comfortable.

“Well, kiddo you don’t have to do anything you are uncomfortable with.” Patton stated and Roman gave Virgil a reassuring squeeze around his shoulders. 

Virgil gulped before taking a deep breath, “No I need to do this.”

“Okay,” Roman said gently letting the silence fills the room, everyone waited patiently for Virgil the words he wanted to express himself. 

“It started like any other day about a year ago, I woke up and ate breakfast my head matron had made for me. She made it special because it was my birthday. Mary was like the mother I never had. The bus came early that day, so I rushed out without giving her a proper goodbye. The first mistake I made that day.” Molly’s eyes widened in understanding, she could guess where this story was going. Tears started to form behind her eyelids. 

“I was sure that I was going to have a good day, everything in my life at the time was so perfect. When I got to school I…” Virgil glanced at Roman and cringed. “I went to find my boyfriend Kyle.” Roman growled deeply at that.

“Easy Roman, let him finish.” Logan advised before nodding at Virgil to continue. 

Virgil took a shaky breath, “I couldn’t find him anywhere, I asked everyone. It took forever, but someone finally told me that he was under the bleachers by the football field. I ran to go see him, and… and he was making out with some popular bitch. I was shocked, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I think I went into some sort of denial. There had to be a reason he was doing this to me. Kyle had been my best friend for years. He was the first person that ever stuck up for me after…” Virgil looked at Molly “After you left, I was bullied immersively by Andrew.” It was Molly’s turn to growl her fists clenching. “Kyle was the one who stood up for me, and here he was making out with some girl he barely knew. Then he broke up with me. And I could feel my heart crack down the middle. So I ran. I ran far away. I ran until I couldn’t anymore and I just collapsed in an ally and cried. Then I realized I was lost. I was in a part of the city I had never been before. I called Mary. I asked her to come get me. I asked her to stay on the phone until she was able to get me… She promised she wouldn’t leave.” Virgil stopped a broken sob escaping him before he whispered. “She promised…” He shook his head before continuing. “I heard her get in the car. I heard he start the engine… I heard a horn blaring…. I heard her screaming… Then there was nothing left to hear. The phone cut out and it was nothing but silence. I was scared and alone and I didn’t know what to do.” 

Molly was crying silently at this point, but she stayed quite to let Virgil finish. “It was hours before anyone found me. It was one of the other matrons. It wasn’t Mary. She told me Mary was dead. I immediately went into denial. She couldn’t have been gone. She promised!” Virgil was starting to get riled up and Roman had to give him a reassuring shoulder squeeze to calm him down. “After that I was taken home. I reused to believe Mary was gone. I looked for her desperately throughout the whole building, because this had to be some cruel joke. How could I lose the two most important people in my life in a matter of a few hours? What had I done to deserve this? That’s when I realized it was my fault.” Everyone in the room opened their mouths to argue, but Virgil lifted his hand up silencing them. “Don’t try to make me feel better. If I hadn’t ran away I wouldn’t have gotten lost. If I hadn't called Mary she wouldn’t have been in the car, and if I had let her hang up she wouldn’t have been distracted. This amazing human was robbed from the world and it was my fault.” 

Nobody said anything. Virgil took that as them agreeing with him, but in reality they were all trying to find the words to express how much it wasn’t his fault. Virgil continued before they had the chance. “I stopped talking after that. I could speak as you guys know. I just couldn’t bring myself to. I spent all my time locked away in my room. In that room I started constructions on my walls. The walls to keep people out.” Virigl looked at them and smiled sadly, “Because you can’t lose anyone if there is no one around to lose. Right?” 

Patton and Molly were both in tears at this point, Logan had his head bowed and was looking away to hide the occasional tear that was escaping his eyes. Roman didn’t seem to have a reaction. His face was blank as he just stared at his mate in his arms. It wasn’t that he wasn’t feeling anything. He was feeling too much and his face couldn’t figure out which emotion to express. This was so much. He didn’t even know what to say. 

“After that I dropped out of school, but the matrons were worried about me, so I let a note saying I would go to a different school. I just couldn’t go back to a place where it all went wrong. I couldn’t, but I couldn’t be a burden on the matrons. And that’s when I met you guys.” He said gesturing to Patton and Logan. “You know the rest.” He finished. 

Logan got up suddenly. His mouth moving like he was trying to form words before he seemed to give up and he just left.  Patton darted quickly after him. Logan was walking at a fast pace to his room. Patton tried to call out to him. “Logan!”

Logan kept walking. “Logan stop!” Patton said grabbing his arm and yanking Logan so he was facing him. 

Logan’s eyes were down and couldn’t meet Patton’s. He was ashamed. “Logie bear what wrong?” Patton asked soothingly brushing Logans hair to the side. Logan shook his head. “Come on talk to me.”

“I forced him to talk Patton” Logan said miserably. “I referred to his method of communication as nonsensical, and the first words he had said in apparently months was ‘I’m sorry’. That’s why he went into that panic attack I caused that. How could I possibly even consider myself adequate enough to be in the same room as him?”

“Oh, Logan...”

_______

After Paton and Logan left the room fell into silence. 

“Does you telling us mean you fully trust us now?” Roman asked not sure if he should talk about the other two leaving. Virgil nodded. Roman smiled. “It was very brave of you to tell us.”

Virgil gave him a sad smile.

“So, Mary's gone? “ Molly asked quietly. It was ten he remembered he wasn’t the only one who lost a loved one. He scooted away from Roman and opened his arms to Molly. Molly collapsed into his arms as she mourned the loss. 

“I’m sorry, I should have told you before…”

“I-I get it, just lets not talk right now okay.” She said. She just wanted to be held by the boy she considered her brother.

Roman cleared his throat. 

“I think it’s about time you two became official members of the pack.”