A Shell In The Sand

Chapter 3-

Freya-

I lay in my bed wrapped up in my duvet just staring up at the roof wondering why did i say yes? Why did i agree to marry someone i don't even know? I told myself i have to do this for my mother but not that i'm thinking about it i must ask myself am i really or am i just doing this for myself. My whole life i have felt that little bit unloved, that little bit lonely and that i just wasn't good enough for anyone and i still believed that. I mean look at my last relationship with Rodrick he used and abused me in every way he could and maybe i'm just craving the attention from someone, maybe i do just want to feel loved but is this really how i want it to happen. For all i know this guy could be just as bad as my last relationship... he could be even worse and then what am i to do. It's not like i can go back on my word now, it would break my mother's heart.

I lift my pillow from below my head and put it over my face, God how can i have been so stupid, So blinded. As soon as we started eating our supper last night all she could talk about was this wedding and how special it was going to be. How i was bringing our two families together and that it was going to be wonderful and joyous but now i'm having second questions. Now i'm thinking about all the things that could go wrong. What if he doesn't like me? What if he is a pig? or what if when ever he gets angry he hurts me? or what if he is a good guy ? What if i end up falling in love with this guy? and that is what scares me because i have no idea what is coming. My mind is so clouded and confused that i don't know how i feel but what i do know is that i feel like i'm forgetting something but i don't know what

As i stare up at the plain white roof and hear a notification coming through from my phone, i keep the pillow over my head not wanting to take it off because it means if i look at it then i am going to be reminded of my future and i'm not sure if i'm willing to do that but i also know in the back of my mind i can't run away no matter how much i might want to. So instead i take the pillow off my face and throw it across my bedroom annoyed. I turn over and reach for my phone where i see a message from my mother.

"Hello Freya, It's me Aileen your mother gave me your number. We have decided to host a party tomorrow for you to meet our boys again and your fiance. Feel free to bring along some of your friends. Lots of Love Aileen xx"

I let out a little sign but reply to her anyway because it's the right thing to do and i need to know more details " Hi Aileen, is there any kind of dress code i should be aware of? Freya xx"

I sit myself up on my bed and begin to look through some of my old photos on my phone of me, Cameron and Laine as children and all the fun we used to have.

"A dress would be perfect, not too short. Anything you feel comfortable with really. Aileen xx"

I look at the message then put my phone down and begin thinking to myself A dress? Not exactly specific though, i mean i probably can't be turning up looking like a prostitute but i don't exactly feel like turning up like a nun either. I get out of my bed and walk over to my wardrobe where i look through all my dresses and screw up my faces at every single one of them thinking they are either two plain or worn too many times. For some strange feeling i have the urge to turn around and when i do i look at my desk where my photo folder sits and it clicks in my brain. Dear god i almost forgot about my classes today. Shit, shit, shit. I lean into my wardrobe and pull out my navy blue and yellow plaid skirt out of the wardrobe with my yellow jumper that has a shirt like collar . I struggle to pull my black tights up my legs like all girls do when they are in a hurry causing an accidental tear. I launch them at my bin in anger and grab another pair in much more of a hurry but being slightly more gentle before. One i've got my tights on i zip my skirt up and put on my belt to make sure it stays up tucking my yellow jumper in it to make me look slightly more sophisticated. One my clothes are on i take a brush through my blonde hair making it smooth and untuggy. I sit on the edge of my bed where i strap on my yellow heels that matches my jumper. I think of all the things i have left to grab before making my way to class and throw it all into my backpack. Once it's all there i run out the door and across the street to class where i just make it in time before the professor closes the door for good. When i burst through the door as Professor Chuck Micheal is closing them i just give him a little smile.