A Shell In The Sand

Chapter 7-

Cameron- 8th October, 2018

I sit on the sofa in the living room and hear my dad walking through the door early from work. I turn my head and look confused and decide to get up and see why he's home early. He walks through the house to hear his dad racking in his bedroom upstairs. He takes two steps at a time to get up the stairs and stand at the door of the bedroom.

"You're home early"I say surprised to see his face so early

"My 11 o'clock surgery got cancelled so i thought i'd nip by the house and pick up some things before going back" He tells me as he picks up a folder by the side of his bed and puts it into his suitcase

"Where's mum?" I ask him confused considering it says on the calendar she has the day off work.

"She is taken Freya out shopping so that she has things here at the house for when she is staying" He says to me as he walks over to me with his brief case in his hand.

"I don't even know what i'm doing with Freya, I'm meant to be taking her out to dinner and i have no clue what to do" I say to him feeling like i'm stuck in mud and nothing i seem to do seems to help.

"This may not be be what you want son but we are only trying to help you" My dad says to me as we walk back down stairs.

"I know but there is so much pressure around to make it work that it just makes it even more awkward" I share with him

"It's only been 12 days since we came up with the decision and only 10 days since you both met, it will be awkward for a while but soon it will become easier on you both" He assures me but i feel this doubt in my mind, how could it ever get easier. Right now i can't imagine it will.

"As long as you are trying that is the main thing" He says to me and i know he is right but part of me isn't trying at all, there is still that part of me that really doesn't care.

"I have to get back to work but i'm proud of how far you've come over the years. I mean it" He says to me and pats my back.

I watch him leave the house and get back to work and i roll my head trying to figure out what to do with myself. I walk off into the study and look at the photos of us at children, i think to myself how did we get here. How did those little children who had no worries in the world become this damaged, how did those little children who had everything going for them end up like this. I remember being younger and she would tell me all the time she was going to marry a fireman and travel around the world and i would tell her I'm to marry a nurse and i'd be rich and dreamy. We both wanted different things then and we both want different things now and yet i can't help feel guilty like i'm making her throw away her dreams of marrying that fireman because i screwed up yet again. Maybe if i didn't make the mistakes i did in the past it would have all been different. Maybe i wouldn't have become this person and my family would really be proud of me and not have to give me an ultimatum on life but there is no way to turn back time.

At 3.45 i hear the front door open from my bedroom and mum and Freya laughing as they walk through the door.

"Cameron, you home?" i hear my mum shout from downstairs.

I sigh and open my bedroom door and stand at the top of the banister to see what she wants.

"I am" I shout down to her from the top of the stairs

"Come give us a hand" She says to me but then i hear Freya shout

"No it's fine, i can manage" Freya insist on doing it herself.