The Suicidals
This night was just like any other night.
Where someone from somewhere wishes to end their lives alone.
Here, I am standing, facing against one, who plans on cutting herself and wishes I don't help her.
"Put the knife down, Angelle" I said, as calmly as I could.
She holds a blade long enough to pierce a body and thoroughly.
Her right wrist keeps on shaking as she held the blade against her neck. "I can't take it anymore. Help me, Aciel." She cried.
"Let me take that knife, please calm down. You have already recovered and is living anew. Do not let it get to you." I begged trying to stay calm.
(You said you will jump with me.)
"He keeps on whispering into my ears. The voices won't stop." She said. "Help me." Her eyes are red from excessive crying and she does not respond to my voice.
I am standing alone trying to reach her, I do not have the courage to take the risk. But if the blade won't kill her, the height from where she was standing would.
And I can't risk rushing towards her.
I knew this won't work, but nothing comes to mind. In this secluded abandoned building, only a ghost could watch us, I imagine it smiling at us.
"Haha." I laughed without knowing. "Hahahahaha"
I cleared my mind. Since it's this quiet, my laugh resonated. "Aren't we partners? Did you not agree to ending it only with me?" I persuaded.
Seeing her eyes brighten, I knew I could only keep her alive this way.
"I have not picked a date for it yet, and what? You decided to end yours in advance?" I continued. "You are cruel."
I know this would not help, judging by the looks of her, she is not as stable as she was before. She is having another episode.
"He's here. He keeps on laughing at me." she cried. "I can't take this anymore."
She puts the blade closer to her neck as if she is ready to kill herself.
(I died because of you.)
"I keep hearing his voice." she uttered in pure struggle. Her eyes went from teary red to shut down hellish red and closed it.
"It is because you keep on thinking he is still here." I answered.
"He is not here anymore. Didn't you see how he was buried?" I keep on speaking.
(Hahahaha, why did you hesitate that night? You killed me.)
She froze for a second, opened her eyes, took a deep breathe and looked me in the eyes. Her head was shaking as her eyes keeps on twitching.
(Shouldn't you follow me now? I have been waiting for you.)
She closed her eyes again as her head slightly tilted out of irritation. She gulped, and her closed eyes were showed so much pressure.
(Why aren't you jumping yet?)
She let out a sigh, as if being relieved of this world. She smiled at me then looked up.
(It's cold being on the ground alone. Join me, Angelle~)
She put the blade close enough to cut her neck.
"Put it down, right now!" I shouted from nervousness. My feet moved on their own after.
"I don't know what to do anymore. Aren't you the same as me."
She a different person now. The trembling body of hers from a while ago wasn't there anymore.
"You are cruel, too!"
She said, smiling with tears continuing to flow.
Ah, she's... I can't watch this anymore.
"I'm tired of this. I want to end it." she cried.
Step by step, I went over to her.
Yes I am cruel. Did you wait too long?
Bu don't worry. Just now, I feel like it too.
I grabbed her hand and took the blade. I received a slightly deep cut on my palm, but I did not stop there.
I grabbed her, and looked into her eyes.
"You know that I'm here for you, right?" I asked.
She gulped down and looked up, then sighed. "You are here for me, but I'm longing for someone who's already dead. Until now, he's still waiting." she said.
I smiled bitterly with my head right in front of hers. "Say you'll long for me, and we'll both go."
We are already this broken, but we kept on working for which purpose we never know about.
She then looked at me, with her tears halted and smile, the most genuine I've ever seen. With that, I don't even need an answer
The lights from the high rises became a blur, and to my eyes, it was the most beautiful.
This is the moment I enjoyed the most in my life, I hugged her tight, in which she did the same thing, and slowly, my vision had the brightest scenery, I thrust the blade through her and into me.
We smile when sad and laugh when mad. We are the mirrors in which have been shattered by society.
For us, suicidals, the only glimmer of light is knowing that we are to die someday, and it's a bliss to think it'll happen sooner than later.
For her who could not die with her lover, and for me who can only push her away from death, sadness became our true happiness. With our personalities still unidentified, we continue to fall in the sky, hugged by the cold of night.
