A fragile glass.
What do you think is the best solution to offer to regain trust?
First, what is trust?
Trust. Something as fragile as glass.
What do you think is the best solution to try and fix a broken glass?
It is not mending its broken pieces. It is not pasting things to fill its void. It is to try and let go of what is already broken and to hold something new.
I have met a guy, not personally, but I felt close to him. I met him in a mating app with the same likes of night sky view. We both like sleeping around at day and stay awake at night, thus our entered similarity. Though, only that was our similarity.
Actually we were polar opposites. We discovered that slowly as we talk. We thought at least in our differences we can be similar.
We trusted each other as if we were already personally acquainted. The type of trust that is made between dogs and cats.
A trust as thin as air, and as clear as water. A fragile glass.
I am not of young age, but not old as he is. We became friends fast and we became each other's secret holders.
Be it casual or serious, we talked from afternoon till dawn. Sometimes even after sunrise.
Damon was a sweet and smart man, he was half a decade older than me, but it never showed because of his warm and friendly interaction with me.
I was his adorable little sister and he's my reliable big brother.
There was nothing to break us up.. We were bonded too strong, not even a boulder would break our precious glass.
But not long enough, that crack appeared.
I did something, which was not out of the ordinary, and to my surprise, it was not a very nice impression for him.
For a man of his age, he acted immaturely, that I did not know if he is being smart or being stupid for an adult. He bickered nonstop and demanded I fix the problem.
To his immaturity, I was given a day to fix the situation. For his sake, I looked for solutions.
We were like a glass in a verge of falling apart.
The shattering noise coming from it was not a very pleasant sound. It was like its shattered particles formed small daggers and directly pierced me dead.
His words, that once comforted me, stabbed me deeply as he continued to spit them out, flooding me.
All painful, for mere chat messages, they became spiteful spikes that were thrown to my eyes.
I was bleeding, but all he did was tantrum, squeezing me dry for a solution. A useless solution that I believed would fix the cracking glass.
The cracks grew bigger by the second, and I was left with no choice but to seek for answers.
I worked and stressed my brain through and through, looked for others and bugged them too, and came back to him with nothing to offer to.
While the shatter became louder and louder, my hands tremble more, and the tips of my fingers bleed as they typed letter by letter, working my mind to the core.
I was stressed. I was burnt out. I was, without rest, looking for a better route. Should I surrender or should I try even harder? I was left, beyond belief, almost out of breath, with my face showing no relief.
I sent "please", "hear me out", "let me explain", "I'm sorry" and so much more. With the most pure and clearest reasons I could give, I implored. All so that my shoulders having him as burden, would finally straighten up and be lighten.
I worked so hard for a whole day to fix the friendship we slowly crafted for a year and so. All explanations and expressions, up to my emotions and expectations, I listed and gave, for good old times' sake and the road we had to pave.
By the end of the day, I realized, our friendship that shows signs of decay, wasn't my fault, but entirely his.
I did no mistake. I hurt no one's feelings.
I was the one who ached. I realized I was one of the weaklings.
Since now I finally got hurt enough, I finally got a hold of myself, I now know when to stop trying, I now know what to actually give up.
I realized it was no use keeping a broken glass.
For my last message. Instead of convincing him to have his trust on me again, I told him, as clear as day, that I am now wounded by the shattered, fragile glass and that I have finally decided to throw it away.
It was a vey late realization. From the start till the end, it was literally just a fragile glass.
