A Quick Rebound
There are two types of man, a man who apologizes after knowing and reflecting from their mistakes and a man who apologizes while being clueless of his mistakes.
People who asks for forgiveness when they dont even know what they did wrong.. its just..to pitiful. They disgust me.
"Allie, please, I'm sorry if I made you sad" he uttered, almost at the verge of kneeling.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong, besides, I'm always sad anyway, you did no harm at all" It's always like this, I keep on thinking maybe it's because of that I'm sad ever since.
"So, was I just another passerby in your life?" he asked.
I took a deep breathe and said, "Answering your question might make me even sadder, are you ok with it?"
There are no words available to describe how I'm feeling right now. He kept his eyes focused on mine, "I don't want you to be sad, but now that you've said you're sad any which way, I want to take the chance to ask."
This situation is like an atmosphere trying its best to corner me, "What made you want me?" I asked straightforwardly.
And without hesitating, he asnwered, "No reason. Does love need a reason anyway?" A vague answer like this would give off a very suspicious feeling.
I can't help but ask, "I mean, did you ever wanted me to the point that you want to know more about me?
"All I needed to know was whether you like me back or not, but I'm not waiting for an answer, I just wanted you to know that I like you." Knowing him, I expected this much for an answer, but still I wanted to believe there is a different reason. "Being in this kind of relationship with you is sending butterflies in my stomach. Believe me." he continued.
"Did you even want to apologize because you thought you hurt me?" I asked
He stood up straight and cleared his throat, "I wanted to apologize for every single thing I did."
"Can't you give at least one?"
"I made so many, I can't just recite them all. That's why I'm very sorry" he solemnly stated.
I felt a crack in my heart, to think a man I accepted to be the pair of my love would be like this. "Ahh so you're the latter."
"Latter?" he asked, looking at me confused.
"I see. So it's too much? Your mistakes are too much to count?" I continued to talk by myself.
"I'm really sorry." he said.
"Was it hard to be beside me?"
"No, of course not, I'm sorry if you felt that way." he said yet again.
"No, keep your sorry, I don't need them. Since I'm already sad anyway, removing you from my life won't really make much difference." I said. I honestly had enough of this shit, it's been going on and still repeating.
"Please, give me another chance." he said.
"Is asking for another chance the only thing you know?" I asked angrily. I didn't expect him to brush me this side of him. He looks so pathetic, "You said you have too much mistakes, you think you made those mistakes and would still have a chance?"
"Please, just listen to me." he begged.
"I had enough. You took me for granted. Was I just an insurance to you? Aren't you being too cruel right now?"
"Ok, I'm sorry for being like this. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." again with his sorry's.
"Again, and again and again, why do you keep on saying sorry, I didn't ask you to say sorry.
Do you think that whenever you say sorry, I'd feel grateful?"
He brushed his head with his right hand and looked away as he said this: "I'm sorry, but I just can't say anything else but this."
"You keep on making me hate you. What, so am I just another mistake to you? Is that why you keep on asking for forgiveness?"
"You're too cruel, you know that? I had enough of this. You'll be just like a wind passing by to me." I told him. Keeping this unhealthy relationship would only bruise us both.
"No please, it's not what you think. I'm really sorry if you got that idea."
"No, I guess it is me, maybe it's because of me, it's all because you keep on disgusting me. You're just to unbelievable." I said.
"Why would you still act like nothing happened? I've never been happy, even after you asked me out." I continued.
"And you just, what, you think I say sorry because I was lacking? I was apologizing because everytime I come home, I'd be reminded of how much I tried to keep this relationship steady. I mean, why are you so unlovable?" he babbled.
"What?"
"Why is it that you're so hard to love. You keep making me feel like I'm useless." he continued.
"Is that why you go on clubs and hotels with different women, to relieve your stress? Why don't you just ask me to break up with you."
"You know all that, but you never asked me why I do that? When I go with other girls while being in a relationship with you, don't you even think that maybe it's also your fault?"
I bit my lips slightly and answered him, "My fault? How is it my fault?"
"You think it's all my fault, but didn't you even think once, maybe I'm seeing someone else because you're too lacking? You never thought of it, didn't you. Because you just care for yourself."
"You were... and you are still so naive. I never thought you'd still be like this until now. Why are you so clueless?" he uttered.
"Reign!" I shouted.
I bit my lips yet again as tears flowed out of my eyes. There was no good thing that entered my ears as he continued talking, "I relieve my stress by doing that, but you relieve yours by ranting on me. Do you think that makes a healthy relationship?"
I had more than enough, I heard too much worthlessness. "You think we're still in that kind of relationship? I don't want this anymore. This is over."
He looked so worked up, then he shouted "Ok then! Let's break up."
Then he suddenly became calm and teary, "But know that when all this is settled, clear your mind and open your heart once more."
"I get that this is over. I'll change, so can we please begin anew." he concluded.
My forehead crumpled and my eyebrows met, "Wait what?"
