I Was Only Human

Chapter 6

I felt myself waking up and had the immediate inclination to stretch. My eyes fluttered open and I was greeted by the sight of a flickering fire. I blinked again, trying to get my eyes to focus. I felt warm. I noticed the fluffy blanket wrapped around me. It was pure white, and felt like sheep wool. Someone had taken off my graduation robe, leaving me in the green dress I had underneath. I could tell that I was in a cabin because of the wooded walls of the large room. My body still felt stiff, so I stretched again, flipping onto my other side. I turned to see a white t-shirt clad around a very muscular figure. I froze. This wasn't Mercer.

My mind was brought back to him. Mercer. I missed him. I wanted to see him again. To be in his arms. A tear slipped out again. Ryan must have sensed it, because he flinched, his eyes cracking open.

"Holly?" He croaked out, assessing my expression. As soon as he saw my tear, he used his thumb to wipe it away. I held back the rest of the tears threatening to expose themselves. No more crying. At least, not in front of Ryan. It made me feel weak.

I hated feeling weak. I hated the way I felt like I needed to be around Ryan. I hated the attraction I had for him. But that hate wasn't enough to stop me.

He still seemed to suspect that I was on the verge of tears.

"Holly, I know you might not want to talk right now. But I'll be here, ready to talk whenever you're ready." He mumbled into my hair. I didn't know if I would ever be ready to talk.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." I admitted quietly, a bit uncomfortable at his closeness.

"I know you will be one day darling." I raised an eyebrow. He was already giving me pet names?

"Might as well do it now, when I've still got the guts." I suggested. His eyes widened, surprised at my sudden exclamation. He slowly nodded and shimmied down so that I could see his face properly. Now we were face to face, with a few inches apart from us.

"What do you want to know?" I asked. He pondered for a moment.

"What was the vision you had when we were in high school?" I was caught off guard. Why would this be his first question? His vibrant blue eyes burned with curiosity, his eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. How could I make a long story short?

"I went to your party with Mercer. We decided to go on a walk. We ran into you. Mercer left me forever." My voice started to die toward the end. Because of the emotional bond we had now, I could sense that Ryan was growing more anxious.

"You ran from me because you didn't want Mercer to leave you." It wasn't a question.

"I love him." I agreed straightforwardly. I felt his hurt.

"Why did you tell him yesterday?" Yesterday? I must have slept through the whole night. I carefully contemplated how I would phrase what I wanted to say.

"I saw the moment you found out that I am your mate. I knew I didn't have time. I wanted him to find out from me, instead of some other way." His anxiety remained.

"You know about mates. You know how hard it was for me? How much harder it could have gotten for you? I was searching desperately for you." His eyes turned sad. I felt guilty. Ryan's pain and Mercer's pain- all of it was my fault.

"I'm a human Ryan. I don't exactly feel as deeply as your wolf does." I reminded him. He shook his head, his hair shuffling against the sheet.

"But you were bitten by a rogue with Alpha DNA, so you have some wolf DNA in you. You feel the bond more than a normal human." I tried not to let "normal human" make me upset. I took a deep breath.