I Was Only Human

Chapter 15: Ryan's Story [bonus]

A bonus chapter: Ryan's point of view of the last few events!

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"Ryan just got home from work too, I'm sure he could use a break. My company keeps him busy. He's up in his room." I heard my dad say.

"Thanks!" Holly called, heading up the stairs. I went to the door to greet Holly, despite my lack of energy.

"Holly." I breathed out and pulled her into a quick hug. Having her in my arms made the long day worthwhile.

"It's been a long day." She nodded against my chest.

"How was work?"

"Let's go lay down." I suggested, and pulled her to my bed.

"Work was... work. There's a huge contract that's in jeopardy because of my beta. He screwed something up." I almost let out a growl of frustration. Ashton was usually more careful than this.

"I know you'll be able to fix it. And Ashton will make it up to you. He's always been a hard worker, from what I can remember." Having her talk about Ashton to my face made my wolf uncomfortable. The look on her face suggested she was fond of Ashton.

"He better, or that'll be more work for me, and more time away from you." I moved my hands to her face.

"I don't want life to be work work work work." I moved my hands to her face.

"I'm sure it'll get easier once we get the hang of it. We're still pretty new at all of this." But I did agree. I felt like I hadn't seen her enough recently. Part of me wanted to spend more time with her, but part of me was worried I would scare her off.

"I wish we could spend more time together." It was as if she had read my thoughts.

"I agree. We definitely need to spend more time together. I can't stand being away from you for too long, but I wanted to give you your space." I pulled her closer to me and she ran a hand through my hair.

"You've been doing that too much lately. Treating me like I'm going to break or run away at any moment." I didn't know what to say. She wasn't wrong, but what could I say? What should I say? She looked up at me curiously.

"I just don't want to lose you Holly. I already lost you four years ago." I didn't want to pull back the bad memories, but anytime I thought of four years ago was hard for me.

"Ryan, will you tell me more about those four years I wasn't there?" She interlaced our fingers. I could tell she was curious and she wanted to comfort me.

"I went to college, I worked, I trained to be Alpha, I looked for my mate. That was it."

"Was it hard? Looking for me, but not being able to find any answers?" My body reflexively froze.

"The second hardest thing I've ever gone through emotionally." If I thought looking for her for four years was hard, there was something that was even more difficult.

"What was the first?"

"Watching another man with you." The way Chris looked at her, the way Clay looked at her, the thoughts of her with Mercer for the last six years... It was enough to drive me crazy. I wanted to let the whole world she was mine and no one else's. To claim her as my own. The thought of her being with someone else hurt more than all those years of looking for her.

"Mercer?"

"That was hard. But I knew to give you your space. There was another, though." Two others, but I didn't feel like one was relevant yet.

"Chris?" I enjoyed her scowl.

"I can't help it. My wolf gets super possessive of you when men show interest in you." I admitted.