Steady Rhythms of Love (Ryker Series #2)

SROL [33]

"I just realized I didn't ask you that the last time we talked," mabilis na dagdag ko.

"What do you want to know?" malamig niyang tanong.

I bit my lower lip. He looks annoyed that I'm here with him. Pero hindi ko iyon pinansin.

"Gusto ko lang malaman kung... kamusta ka na."

Malalim siyang bumuntong-hininga. "Kamusta? Are you serious?" matabang na tugon niya.

And that hit me. Ang sabi niya ay maayos kung magiging okay kami. Pero siguro, ganun talaga, may chance na magbago kaagad ang gusto niya. Alam ko namang galit pa rin siya, ramdam ko. Kaya hindi ko magawang bigyan ng malalim na ibig sabihin ang mga ginawa niya sa akin noong mga nakaraang araw.

He offered me a meal because I was the architect in charge of their vacation house. Ganoon din noong binigyan niya ako ng club sandwich. Kung hindi naman aksidenteng dalawa ang inorder niya ay hindi niya ako bibigyan.

Iyong paghatid niya sa akin sa bahay, maybe he felt like it was his responsibility dahil kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama.

"Alam kong... galit ka pa rin. Pero gusto kong malaman kung... paano ka. Kahit galit ka pa rin sa'kin, gusto kong malaman kung... okay ka."

"I don't know, Zara. Maybe okay isn't even in my vocabulary right now," may diing aniya. "You think a simple how are you will make things right?"

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa sahig. Lasing na kaya siya kaya niya... nasasabi ang mga iyon? Lasing na kaya siya kaya nailalabas niya na nang mabuti ang galit niya sa akin? Kasi kung oo, mas gusto ko ang Blade na nakakausap ko noong nakaraan. Iyong masungit pero hindi masakit magsalita.

A drunk Blade feels like... I'm getting slapped with reality.

"S-Sayang 'no? Sampung taon na rin sana. H-halos tayo lang s-sana nila Josh at Cali. S-sa tingin mo, kasal na kaya tayo ngayon?"

Hindi siya makapaniwala na tumingin sa akin. "Right. If only you didn't cheat," halos pabulong nang sabi niya. "But thanks for cheating, I've been in a better place since then."

"M-mas gusto ko na lang palang kausapin ang hindi nakainom na Blade," sabi ko sa sarili. Mas lalong dumilim ang itsura niya. "Kasi mabait pa sa akin 'yong Blade na nakakasalamuha ko these past few weeks. Masungit pero... h-hindi ganyan magsalita."

"I'm only doing that because I don't want to be rude. I'm... trying my best not to be rude."

"But you're being rude to me now." Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. "Sorry. Babalik na ako sa garden."

Dahan-dahan ang pagtayo na ginawa ko. Pinanood niya ako hanggang sa talikuran ko na siya. I was about to leave when he suddenly spoke again.

"How could you... talk to me like that? How could you... look directly into my eyes as if you didn't cheat on me? As if you didn't ruin me?"

"Sorry. I... I just wanted to try tonight. I'm trying to fix this... to fix us."

"Fix us?" Natawa siya nang walang gana. "You can't just fix something you already broke, Zara."

"I know. But I can still try. Gusto ko lang din kasing... magpaliwanag."

Mahina siyang tumawa dahil sa sinabi ko na para bang nagbibiro ako.

"I'm serious," seryosong sabi ko dahilan kung bakit siya tumigil sa pagtawa. "I know I hurt you, and I can't change the past. But if you just give me a chance... give us a chance..."

"You don't get it, do you?" Umiiling na tanong niya. "I can't just switch off the pain like a light. You may be willing to do anything now, but it's too late."