Fire Emblem: High School Years (High School AU) - Junior Year

Chapter 18: Out With the Old

Anna

"Welp. The first semester is over."

"It sure is."

"Honestly? Kinda underwhelming."

"Agreed." I leaned back in my car seat, playing with the straw of my smoothie. "Where are the mental breakdowns? The stress-cramming? The pizzaz?"

Our exams were done and in the bag, leaving way for the second semester of the school year. Halfway done. This year, unlike all others, past by with what honestly felt like a whisper of change. I actually felt prepared and ready for my exams. The hell? And normally, when the school-day was over, I would use the half-day to catch up on sleep and ignore all of my responsibilities; however, my body gained a random burst of energy so Olivia and I decided to use it by getting celebratory smoothies and then sit in her driveway for an hour.

What a time to be alive.

Olivia turned to me, her pale-hazel eyes hazy with boredom. "Hmmm..." She set her cup down and reached out to me, fingers caressing the fading blue strands of my hair. "We should re-dye it, soon. Maybe we could do it today?"

I shrugged, nervously sipping my drink. It tasted of blueberries and regret (and slightly of cough medicine, oddly enough). I should just stick to strawberry flavored things. "M-maybe...but..."

That got my friend's attention. "But...?"

I shook my head, biting my lip gently. "W-well, I was actually thinking about..." Ah, no. Bad idea. This is dangerous territory. "Never mind."

Olivia turned in the seat to properly face me. "No, don't give me that," she insisted. "Tell me what's up."

I sighed while setting down my cup as well. "I-I kinda wanna cut it..." I said sheepishly.

Her eyes went wide. "...Oh."

I ran my hands through the long, matted strands. "Taking care of it is an extreme hassle, and there's so much of it!" I exclaimed. "It's so heavy, I'm seriously starting to think it's contributing to my neck pain." My muscles gave a dull, painful throb in response. "Plus...I think short hair is really cute. My hair's been this length for as long as I can remember, and I want to try something new, ya know?"

Olivia nodded, her own hands unconsciously running through her lengthy pink tresses. "I get it. But what's stopping you from doing so?"

A lot. A whole freaking lot. "First of all, my hair is very thick and curly. It'll be a poofy mess if I cut it super short. Number two, it's a huge change for me. I've always had super long hair and not having it will be weird. Three, I like my blue tips and I don't want to lose them. And number four..." I gulped, an uneasy feeling settled within my stomach, my heart giving a painful twinge. "...Chrom really, really likes my long hair. And I like that he likes it! He's, like, secretly amazing with hair and I love it when he helps me take care of it!"

My friend finally understood, a soft gasp escaping her lips. "Anna...are you afraid that he will no longer find you beautiful if you cut your hair?"

I averted her gaze. "...Yes..."

"Oh, sweetheart!" Olivia burst from her seat and cradled me in her arms. It was an uncomfortable angle to be held in, but comforting nonetheless. "That couldn't be any further from the truth and you know it! Chrom absolutely adores you and no change in appearance can ever change that!"

My throat closed up, tears threatening to burst from my eyes. "I know...I really, really know...but I can't help it..." I sniffled. "I'm still not really used to having someone care about me the way he does, and I can't help but be scared of messing something up and losing it-"

"Which won't happen."

"-I know," I choked out. "But I'm still so scared..." Years and years of emotional abuse and torment have completely shattered my perspective of what it's liked to be loved. The rational side of me says that I have nothing to worry about and Chrom will be okay with whatever changes I make to myself, but the irrational side keeps beating it down.

"Tell you what," Olivia broke me from my trance, "why don't we go inside and start working on your hair? I won't dye or cut it right now; I will only do whatever you're comfortable with me doing. Okay?"

...I really want to cut my hair... Like, a lot. A whole lot. Why is my brain so determined to keep me from being happy? Why can't I just pursue what I want without any second thoughts? This sucks.

I twisted a few strands in my fingers. "...Okay."

"And I can always dye the ends again, you know; you don't have to choose between one or the other."

That made me perk up slightly, my nod surer. "All right! That sounds really nice, actually." I need to take a leap at some point. I'm not a timid little girl, anymore. I'm almost an adult.

Holy shit I'm almost an adult.

"Now c'mon. Your hair isn't gonna wash and dry itself!"

Will I be able to go through with it?

...

I waited anxiously by the front door, waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. It's just a dinner date. Chill. It's not like I'm about to go to war.

As if on cue, a knock sounded on the other side of the door. This is it... I drew in a deep breath, straightening out my blouse. Now or never. I opened the door, heart-melting at the sight of my smiling boyfriend. All he needs to do is exist and I'm nothing but a puddle of mush.

"Hey, Anna..." He drew on the vowels of my name for an extended period of time, his gave fixed on me and nothing else.

I gulped, running a hand through my now, shoulder-length, blue-tipped hair. "S-surprise..." I giggled nervously. "D-do you like it? Olivia cut it yesterday."

He didn't say anything.

Dammit. This was a bad idea. He hates it. I turned my gaze to the ground, fighting back tears. "I-I...s-sor-"

Two hands came up to my head, gently fluffing my shortened strands. I blinked up at him, ducking beneath his ministrations. It really was fluffy, now; I'll admit that I spend at least an hour fluffing and playing with it after the fact.

Chrom grinned, pulling me close to press a kiss to my forehead. "I love it. It looks amazing on you." He nuzzled his face into it and I thought I might melt. "Although, I wish you would have given me a heads up so I could brush up on my short-hair braiding skills."

What have I done to deserve this loving, adorable boy? I hugged him tightly, refusing to let go. "My bad. I'll be sure to let you know in the future."

Why would I ever have any doubts about the boy I love?

*****
So there's a lot to unpack here. #1. My exams are done. Hurrah. I think I did pretty well and I'm honestly feeling pretty numb about it. My emotions are pretty much summed up in this chapter. #2. The whole blueberry smoothie thing is based on experience. The last time I had one, it tasted like cough medicine and it wasn't a cowabunga time. #3. The whole haircut thing is actually based on my real life, since I just got a major cut (it actually happened like a month and a half ago, but I digress). For reference, her hair looks like hair #2 (on build #1) in the Awakening character build thing. #4. CHROM IS LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE NO MATTER WHAT. HE'S ONLY SLIGHTLY SHOOK BUT HE LOVES IT. Anyway. This whole thing was a mess. XD I feel like I had more to say but my brain just dipped. Welp, I'm gonna go ignore my responsibilities and play 3H's for the next 12 hours. I started my BL route, finally, and omg Dimitri you need therapy. I'm gonna marry you but you need therapy (Claude is still my one true love tho). I just finished my Silver Snow route and I'm still dying on the inside. I refuse to continue my BE route because I still absolutely hate Edelgard. This has gone on for too long. Thank you so much for reading and look forward to reading more!