How Could You? - An Everlark AU

Chapter 2

Monster by Meg and Dia

Lyrics:

His little whispers
Love me love me
That's all I ask for
Love me love me
He battered his tiny fists to feel something
Wondered what it's like to touch and feel somethingMonster
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windowThat night he caged her
Bruised and broke her
He struggled closer
Then he stole her
Violet wrists and then her ankles
Silent pain
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreamsMonster
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
I will
Hear their voices
I'm a glass child
I am Hannah's regretsMonster
How should I feel?
Turn the sheets down
Murder ears with pillow lace
There's bath tubs
Full of glow flies
Bathe in kerosene
Their words tattooed in his veins

~

Katniss's P.O.V.

The room is dark, the lamp light illuminating the room. I look to my side, Gale sleeps on his back and breathing heavily. I smile a little and roll back onto my back. I sigh. I grab my phone from his nightstand. Prim has texted me a lot and called me as well. I put my phone back down and roll over, sighing once again. Prim must be worried sick. So would Mom... but she doesn't even deserve to be thought about. So I push her out of my mind and drag my legs out of bed. I see some bottles, pills and cigarettes on the desk next to my phone. I sit up and look at him. I let out a frustrated sigh.

'He's just like her... But why do I love him? And not her? I can't stay... but I want to. But he'll leave like she did. Maybe... he won't. I love him... And he loves me... So I guess... I'll stay. I'm strong.' I think.

I lean over him and kiss his cheek. He moves around in his sleep, and then wakes up.

"What's up, Kat?" He asks.

I sigh. My life is just filled with sighs. "Nothing. I'm fine. Just... thinking." I admit.

He sits up and looks into my eyes. He reads the conflict in my eyes. I can't mask it. He leans in and kisses me. It's one of the kisses he gives when he wants me. Just me. Then the night turns into a blur type of kiss.

I pull away. "I can't, Gale. I'm not feeling it." I say while I look away.

"Come on, Babe. It makes you better." He says and puts a long strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I just... If you do... Quit this for a month. A whole month, this time Gale. I mean it." I say and hold up all the things he uses.

"I swear, Katniss. For you, I promise." He says and kisses me.

'To hell with it, Katniss.' I think.

I pull away. He gives me the look of yearning for me. I give myself to him. And as always the nights I share with Gale... become a blur. All I know is it's filled with passion for each other's bodies and love. Or what I think is love. Will I ever find the true meaning of it? Maybe if Gale stops everything bad he's doing... then maybe we can find it. Find each other's advice helpful, find each other's care helpful, and maybe one day we can move in with each other and live happily in each other's presence. Like the married couples in the movie. That would be helpful if he could help me around here and then... But I shouldn't get my hopes up, and I definitely shouldn't let myself dream like that. I could get my heart broken, if I don't play my cards right. No, he should be the one to play his cards right. Not me. If anything, he should quit his awful ways, like he promised me. And I hope he keeps his promise...

~ Few Weeks Later ~

"Katniss, your mother is back into that Rehab again." Dad says to me as he walks into the kitchen.