𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | k.raehyun

Insecurities

Raehyun sat in her bed, quietly sniffling as she read all the hateful words being sent to her. The 20-year-old loved her fans and performing but recently, she's taken a notice of all the people who made fun of her and the way she was. They would comment on her weight, her body image, her face and altogether tried to turn everything she once loved about herself into a negative.

She would never tell the boys or any of her friends about reading those comments because she had always said she never cared for them. But as the days went on, the more hate she received, despite being positive in every possible way she could. There was a specific user that kept appearing up on Raehyun's screen, they'd always comment hurtful things towards Raehyun and made her unknown insecurities publicly known to the worldwide net.

Tears fall from her brown eyes as she reads the comments, Raehyun inhales deeply, trying to calm her breathing before her roommates could find her, sitting on her bed curled up in a ball with tears streaming down her face. "Am I not good enough?" she mumbled as she read the words being used against her.

@hater : the girl is so useless. she's not even that talent and she isn't even that pretty 🙄

@hater2 : bleh 🤮 this group would be so much better without her

@hater3 : she could lose some pounds, she looks like a pig here 🤢🐷😂

@hater : can she like? die already?

@hater4 : untalented. how the f*ck did she debut with these talented ass boys?

@hater4 : she honestly probably slept with the entire company and their male staff to debut with boys 🤮

@hater : U G L Y

Raehyun tried to drown the words out but the more she tried, the harder the words hit her. Hearing the rustling of her dorm room door, Raehyun quickly wiped her tears and sniffled quietly, slamming her laptop screen down, trying to act normal to the best of her abilities. Hongjoong entered with his laptop in his arms.

"Oh? Hyunie there you are," he smiled, placing his laptop down on the desk and approached the female's bed. "What hav-," he stopped midway through his sentence and stared intensely at Raehyun.

Looking up at him, she gives him a look. "What?" she asked, her chest heaving heavily as she calms her breathing. "Why are you staring at me like that?" she questioned him.

"You were crying," he bluntly replied with a serious face. "Why?" he asked with crossed arms, he stands in front of her, towering over her like an interrogation was going on.

"I wasn't," Raehyun defended. "I'm just tired, oppa," she turned away from him and laid in her bed, pulling her covers over her as she adjusted herself in bed.

"Raehyun, if you need someone to talk to, you know me and Seonghwa are always here for you," he explained to her with a soft voice. Noticing that she was going to reply anytime soon, he decides to continue his doings and produce some songs on his laptop whilst keeping a close eye on his female member.

Raehyun laid in bed, trying her hardest to fall asleep and forget the words surrounding her, but the only thing she had in her mind was those words that attacked her insecurities. Although she seemed confident in her skin and admired herself via self compliments, there was a small part of her that hated the way she looked.

She disliked the way certain clothing items looked on her. She worked hard to keep in shape in order to fit the Korean beauty standards despite hating them with a burning passion. Furthermore, she thought she was the least talented member. she felt she wasn't at the level the boys were and was holding them back from big projects.

The next day, Raehyun woke up and felt numb. She didn't feel like getting up and going to practice. She felt like her soul had left her body and was leaving her physical body by itself. "Don't want to go today?" Hongjoong quietly asked Raehyun who gave a sad nod. With a pursed smile, Hongjoong patted her head and kissed her forehead. "Alright. I'll let you off this time, don't do anything dumb okay?" nodding again, Hongjoong leaves Raehyun to lay in bed.

As the hours went by, Raehyun's mind was only filled with negative things. The female had broken down multiples throughout the day and felt like she could barely breathe whenever she paced around the dorms. "I'm so worthless. They would be better without me," she mumbled, gazing into the mirror as she mentally criticised herself through the reflective object. Tears fell from her eyes as muttered words to herself.

"I'm the worst."