The Lion And His Lioness

I Shall Miss You, My Jackie, Para Siempre

The Lion And His Lioness -- A Hamilton Fanfiction
Chapter 27 - I Shall Miss You, My Jackie, Para Siempre

Laurens
I sighed, looking over the hill that I was hidden behind with the British troops on the other side of me, a few hundred metres away. This was a long war already, why did there have to be this much blood shed? What was the point of all of this blood shed? If the King could give us our freedom, he wouldn't have lost this many soldiers! I mean, we were fighting with practically nothing! We were winning with the bare minimum, if that!

Glancing over my shoulder, I swore I saw the face of Esperanza before deciding that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I looked over the hill I was crouched behind to see the British troops over the horizon. I had to take a shot, I had to. Positioning my gun, my mind slowly ventured to my friends, my soon-to-be wife, my commander, my Za.

Za.

Memories flooded my mind of our moments together, though most shortly lived. Taking a deep breath, tilting my head to the side to look down the barrel of my gun, I allowed my mind to travel back to the letter I had written the woman of my dreams, informing her of my feelings and the dreams I had for us. Heh, I suppose all good things have to come to an end, don't they? I mean, she's with Hamilton now, they have a son. My godson.

My godson.

God, I wanted to just drop my gun and turn tail and run to Manhatten to go to Za, to Hammie, to my godson. If only I had followed my instinct, then maybe I wouldn't have died. If only I had.

Shaking my head of these intrusive thoughts, I shifted so I could see better. Clearly, I couldn't see well enough. Not even when it entered my side, red leaking onto blue. I gasped, stumbling backwards. I fell backwards, my eyes half-closed. It was as if time had slowed, allowing me some time to think. Memories of my time with Alexander, Lafayette, Hercules, John, George, Elizabeth, Peggy, Angelica, Martha, Aaron, Esperanza.

Esperanza.

Lord, simply hearing her name again sent my heart thumping. I'm sorry, mi hermoso amor. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there with you. I closed my eyes for a second only to open them again. When I did, I could have sworn I saw Za's beautiful face smiling down at me with so much love. Reaching my hand up, I laughed to myself when the image disappeared. An apparition. Of course, Za was safe with her husband and son, she wasn't meant for me. No matter how much it hurt to admit, it was true.

"Raise a glass to freedom..." I sang softly before my eyes closed and my hand came falling down, landing next to me palm-up. I threw away my shot, but they still have theirs. Do not throw away your shot, mi amigos y amigas, do not throw away your shot.

-

It had been a week. A whole seven days since my untimely death and I was able to find Alexander and Esperanza. The song Alexander had taught us immediately came to mind as I walked down the halls of their home in New York. I looked into my godson's bedroom, seeing him asleep with his tiny hands curled around his little blanket. I smiled before moving on to where I knew Alexander and my Za would be.

I may not live to see our glory

"Alexander?" Za asked, a letter held tightly in her left hand. She looked as if she had been crying. "There's a let- There's a letter for you from South Caroli- from South Carolina." I rested my right hand on her cheek, trying to wipe her tears away but they kept coming.

"It's from John Laurens. I'll read it later." Alex said, fiddling with his sleeve slightly.

But I will gladly join the fight

"No. It's from his father." Za spoke through a sob, looking about ready to break down then and there. Alexander turned his attention fully to her. I couldn't help myself, I hugged Za from behind, resting my head on her shoulder as she battled the sobs rising in her throat.

"His father?"

And when our children tell our story

"Will you read it, my love?"

They'll tell the story of tonight

"Of course." Za took a deep breath. ""On Tuesday the 27th, my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops retreating from South Carolina. The war was already over. As you know, John dreamed of emancipating and recruiting 3000 men for the first all-black military regiment. His dream of freedom for these men dies with him.""

Tomorrow there'll be more of us...

"Alexi, are you alright?" Za asked gently, tears falling from her eyes. I released my grip on her and made my way over to the Lion of our group. I kissed both of his cheeks and hugged him before heading back over to Esperanza. I did the same to her, only this time I held on to her longer. As I pulled away, I looked into her eyes before glancing down at her lips. I pulled her in for my last kiss, the last one I could have with this woman, and headed for my godson's room.

"I have so much work to do."

No

I sighed, Alex was going to throw himself into his work. I ignored the feeling that Alex was going to do something stupid and getly tugged Philip's blanket up to cover him a bit more before slowly fading out, my mind focused on one thing.

We would definitely meet again, mi amour

Esperanza
Alexi left the room to tend to some work he had to do. But I knew better. He didn't want me to see him breaking down like I was, he never did like it when I saw him like that. I attempted to wipe my tears but, alas, they kept falling. I decided to go to Philip's room and just... sit, and think for a little while.

I plucked Pippy from his crib and walked over to the chair in the corner, sitting down and holding my son close to my chest. My mind slowly travelled to the song Jackie taught me, the song the four of us sang whenever we needed each other.

"Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
You'll tell the story of tonight
Raise a glass to the three of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us."

I swore I could hear Jackie's voice accompanying me but it might have just been the grief I felt for my dead lov- my dead friend. I sighed, kissing the top of Philip's head before putting him back to bed. Making my way to the window in Philip's room, I rested my forehead against it and breathed a heavy, saddened sigh as tears started falling from my closed eyes.

"I shall miss you, My Jackie, para siempre." I whispered before leaving Philip to sleep with the plush Jackie had made for him when I was in my second trimester.