She's Mine || BTS//ATEEZ

Touch

"We lost our spark," you said, rubbing your hands. You pulled your knees to your chest. Your back pressed against the foot of the bed as you sat on the floor leaning onto the mattress. Shownu sat beside you with his legs stretched out far in front of him. "I don't know why I thought it was only me. I should have known he felt it too."

"Maybe the spark isn't gone," Shownu said, turning toward you, "Maybe it is just more concentrated somewhere else," He took his finger and lightly touched your arm. It was like plugging a lamp into an electrical socket and the light turned on. The energy was there. The sparks were there, and they were strong.

You let out a deep sigh when he pulled away, cutting off the flow of energy, "I don't know. I don't know how this works," You leaned your head back, resting it on the bed.

"I felt it when you came back. It was so strong," He paused, "You gave me a hug and it felt like lightning, and now every time we touch, it feels like electricity is literally flowing through us. I know you felt it. I know you feel it," He brushed his hand over your arm, causing you to snap your head in his direction as energy when flowing through you.

"Also, since you came back," he once again paused like he was thinking of the right things to say, "I just want to... touch you,"

"What," you said, moving your shoulders so they faced him as the rest of your body stays in the same position.

"No, no," he chuckled a little under his breath, "Like I feel like I need to be with you like there is a rope between us that is pulling us together, but I know my place. I would never do that to you," he was waving his hands trying to brush away his awkward words.

You knew what he was talking about. You felt the connection. You felt the want of touch. You felt so tired and dead when he wasn't near you or touching you. His presence made you feel alive. This brought pain to your heart. Yunho used to energize you. He used to give you strength, but now all of that was gone.

Is Shownu the person I am supposed to be with?  No, Yunho is the only one.

"I know what you mean," was all you could say. You pushed yourself off from the floor, stepping over to the side of the bed. You lied down on the side that Yunho used to claim as his, but now it lied without an owner. It was cold. It was empty.

Shownu came and sat on the edge of the bed next to your lying body. He brushed the hair from your cheek, tucking it behind your ear. His hand lingered around your ear. He slowly dragged his finger from the back of his ear and down your jaw.

You continued to stare forward with no emotion on your face. You stared out the window that lied in front of your eyes. The trees swayed in the wind. The sky was a crystal blue with soft cotton candy clouds. You could hear the subtle sounds of birds through the glass.

You felt as he ran his fingers over the scars on your cheeks. Your brain went into panic mode. Your hand came up, grabbing his arm, "Leave, Shownu,"

"What?" his face slumped. His eyes became childlike and round. 

"I need time," you said, dropping his hand. You felt the energy break, and all you wanted to do was grab his hand and hold it so tightly that he would never leave, but this was not right.

"Okay," he said. He got to his feet and walked around the bed and out of your sight. You heard the door open. You lied there waiting for it to close but there was hesitation. You rolled over to see the wolf. He was standing with his back to you at the open door. His hand rested on the knob. He was battling himself. Everything in him wanted to stay, but he knew that he had to shut that door.

"Shownu," His head swiveled around like an owl, "Be strong,"

"I am strong," he said in a gruff voice before turning and shutting the door firmly behind him.

It's coming. You could feel it in your gut. Your stomach was hot and boiling. The next step was coming. Shownu was next. The next step of the transition was maybe a day away or hours. 

You flipped over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. You felt tears roll down your face and drip into your hair and then into the pillow. You closed your eyes and took in a deep shaky breath. Your wings folded over you like a blanket, protecting you from the room. "I'm ready."