Dean X Male Reader One Shots

I Need This From You

What if? What if? It's always a big list of what ifs. Fingers snap in front of your face and you look up blinking out of your reverie.

"You with us?" Sam is standing in front of you with a worried look on his face. You blink a few more times and then nod, still partway in your reverie. Sam stands in front of you for a moment longer and then seems to give up. He clomps away from you sitting back down at one of the study tables. He continues what he was working on and you gnaw at your lip. You stand from your spot at the end of the table and head for your favorite hidey hole in the bunker.The one place I can be alone. The boys haven't found it yet.

You sit in the filing room up against a dusty shelf. Your legs are pulled to your chest and there are tears streaming down your face. I'll never be able to tell them. I'm too much of a coward. The door opens and you jump to your feet scrabbling over to the space behind the door. The light comes on and you hear someone's boots as they walk through the shelves of files. There is a rustling of paper and then the bootsteps are walking back towards the door. The light turns off and the door closes and you release the breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

That was so fucking close. You sink down right there, the tears returning in a flood. You hiccup and sob and cry until your phone lights up vibrating in your pocket. You pull it out and see Dean on the caller ID.

"Hello?" You sound awful. Your voice is scratchy and raw from the hours of on-and-off crying.

"What the hell happened to you?"Dean's voice is inquisitive and slightly concerned which brings a touch of warmth to your otherwise cold body.

"Nothing man just a frog in the throat. What's up?"

"I brought dinner if you're hungry. Sam and I are in the kitchen."

"Ok sweet be there in a sec." You hang up the phone and tap on the camera. You examine yourself in the front-facing camera and sigh. There's going to be no hiding the bloodshot, red, and puffy eyes that are a telltale sign someone has been crying. You do your best to mop up your face with your sleeve and slip your phone back in your pocket. You stand from your position on the floor and open the door to the filing room.

The bright fluorescent lights of the hallway sting your eyes as you trudge towards the kitchen in a wobbly stumble. You make it to the kitchen and you don't look up from your feet even as the boys try to make conversation with you. You sit down with your burger and begin to eat.

A hand smacks the table in front of you and you look up from your food. Your mouth is full French fry so you raise an eyebrow.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Dean!" Sam scolds him lightly, a flash of apology in his eyes when he glances at you. You swallow.

"What the hell are you on about? I'm just trying to eat my dinner jackass."

"You've been acting like a jaded teenage girl who got stood up at prom. What's going on with you?"You feel the dam inside begin to crack and pop leaks. You stare at him for a long moment and set your burger down on the plate.

"You wanna know what my problem is Dean? Huh? You really WANNA KNOW?! I'M NOT SOME JADED TEENAGE GIRL. THAT'S THE THING DEAN. I'M NOT A GIRL. I AM A GODDAMN MAN. I AM TRANSGENDER DEAN. AND YOU'RE TOO BUSY BEING A NARROW SIGHTED JACKASS TO REALIZE THAT I'M LITERALLY FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS." Your voice is raw and you begin to sob at the end. Your body is heaving and your sobs are loud in the dead silence of the kitchen.

A comforting arm wraps around your shoulders and you let yourself be pulled into Sam's consoling embrace. He rubs your back and doesn't say anything as your sobs slowly taper off into hiccups. You sniff and awkwardly pull yourself from Sam's arms. You rub your eyes and don't dare look the boys in the eyes.

"Have you been feeling like this the whole time?" Dean asks quietly. You nod, still looking at the floor. "Sam will you give us a minute?" Sam says nothing and the bench wobbles a little as he gets and up leaves the room. Dean sits down in Sam's vacated spot and sighs. His fingers grab yours and the gesture makes you look up at him.

This is the most vulnerable you've ever seen him. His eyes are misty and sad. His jaw is tensing like it does when he's trying not to cry.

"I'm-" He stops looking, for all the world, like a young, lost boy. "I'm sorry that you've been going through this. All you had to do was say something. I know that me saying that makes nothing better because there's always that fear. I know that fear. Not quite to your level but I do. Dad never accepted the fact that I was bisexual even up till the day he died." This fact is news to you and it makes your heart ache. "My point is that I don't want you to ever think you have to hide anything from us. We'll always be here for you no matter what. Alright?"

"Thank you Dean. You've given me all I could've asked for." You both stare at each other a moment longer before Dean clears his throat.

"There's something else I've been keeping from you, and I think you have a right to know." You gulp, fear tingling down your spine. "I've had-" He gnaws at his lip for a moment before resuming. "I've had feelings for you for quite a while now and the fact that you identify as a man doesn't change any of that. I'll probably still love you even until the day I die." Your eyes are wide and your heart sounds like a wild stallion galloping through the countryside. You throw your arms around him and he chuckles. He wraps you in one of the best hugs you've ever had.

"Cas you owe me 10 bucks."

"I do not have any money Sam. How do you expect me to pay you for this?" Dean doesn't let go instead his grip tightens.

"Guys this is a chick flick moment could you kindly fuck off."