The Other Side Of Me

Chapter 5: Behind Closed Doors

Upon announcing his departure to the rest of the gang, Hiccup swiftly exited the suddenly cramped clubhouse. Perhaps he had been too quick to assume he would have an easy morning. How foolish.

Even without looking or acknowledging them, he knew his friends had been eyeing him, clearly concerned. Though any other time he would appreciate their concern, welcome it even, this was something he had learned was best handled alone. Right now, they were hardly more than distractions. The more questions they asked the farther he was pulled from control. Fourteen years he had kept a tight grip on the reigns, but now he was slipping. Things were much easier when everyone hated him. Before the time of Red Death when no one cared where he was, or how long he disappeared. But, things were different now. He just had to learn to adjust.

Sitting in the loft of his hut, Hiccup sat quietly, eyes closed. He sat and tried to pull everything together in his mind. Calming the raging waters took more effort than it used to.

When he finally opens his eyes, he sees Toothless slowly and carefully crawling up the stairs to his rider, his worry shining very apparent. Hiccup sighed as he gestured to the dragon that it was okay to come closer. Toothless does so happily, laying down at Hiccup's feet - or foot- and resting his head on his lap. Hiccup gently strokes the top of his dragon's head, voicing his discomfort to his first true friend. Though he can not respond, Toothless listens intently to every word.

When he is finished, Hiccup holds his knees to his chest, resting his head on top of them - like a child pouting upon discovering the unfairness of the world for the first time.

While the two are sitting together, Hiccup remembers the patrol he had scheduled for that day earlier in the week. He groans at the thought of having to fly, just wanting to sit in his dark hut until no one remembers his story. Gods damn him for his need to be prepared. It was just a simple patrol of the area to check for any hunter activity. Recently, the hunters had been rather quiet. But, this of course not enough to stop him from scheduling the patrol, something he was kicking himself for now.

"Why do I do this to myself, Toothless?" the dragon looks up at him with his head tilted, unsure of how to answer. "Maybe I can just cancel it," he considers, "but, then I would have to come up with - " he is cut off by a knocking against his hut. He guesses who it is before they even speak.

"Hiccup, are you okay? Can we talk about what happened?" He hears his recently betrothed just beyond the door. Hiccup takes just a second to compose himself before he responds. "Astrid, I really don't want to talk right now," he says from the loft, "I promise everything is fine, I've just had a lot on my mind," only a half-lie. "You know you don't have to hide anything from me right? If something is bothering you, I'd be happy to help you through it." She sounded so concerned, so caring. It pained him to lie to her. He loved her, enough that he was already prepared to dedicate the rest of his life to her. But, this wasn't something she could understand.

"I know, Astrid, I know. But, everything is fine. Just... just get everyone ready for the patrol, please. I'll meet up with you guys when we're ready to leave." He hears he sigh before agreeing and walking away.

He, however, does not move. He just holds his head in his hands, wishing it was just a bad dream. Hoping that soon he'll wake up, and no longer be plagued with such a balancing act.

"Oh, bud, why do the gods hate me?" Toothless just coos softly, trying to reassure his rider.

Astrid walks away from Hiccup's hut not being able to help but feel... hurt.

Since becoming betrothed, the pair had been quite open with each other. Their success and pain were shared. But, now Astrid felt shut out. It upset her to suddenly be on the outside, and it upset her even more because she could not pinpoint a reason. She tries to push the feeling aside as she enters the clubhouse. The gang looks are her expectantly, hoping for the best. She sighs and shakes he head, causing everyone to deflate a little bit.

"He said he wants everyone to start getting ready for patrol, he'll meet us when we're ready to go."

"Uhh," Snotlout voices his displeasure, "of course, we still have that stupid patrol today. We haven't seen any hunter ships in weeks. Why do we have to go out patrolling for something that isn't there?" Astrid finds herself having to hold back from knocking him to the ground. "Yes, Snotlout, we do still have patrol today. Do you know why?" She steps closer to him, getting right up in his face. She speaks before he has a chance to answer. "Because even if we haven't seen the hunters in a while we have to remain vigilant. We can't risk letting our guard down." She finishes, leaving him stunned and speechless.

Maybe everything that's been going on is starting to get to her more than she thought. She sighs and moves away from him. "Just get ready, we'll meet by the stables," she orders before leaving to prepare herself.

Heather watches her go sadly, knowing that her friend is distressed. Unfortunately for her and everyone else, the pair of betrothed Vikings are equally as bad at sharing their feelings. She just hopes everything will work itself out soon. The gang already had enough on their plate.