Painting this canvas with the colors of our love

Reunion

"I'm sorry" I said trying to unlock the door to my apartment "it's a mess, but I didn't plan of having someone over" I said opening the door and have her walk inside first. She turned the light on like she did it every day, and in fact she did it often, but it had been more than a year before.
She examined the place in silence walking around slowly, she smiled at the pile of books on the table... yes, I was trying to catch up but it had been harder than I thought so far.
"Do you sleep too? On study breaks maybe?" She giggled. That sound was heartwarming for me, she probably had no idea how much I had been missing it.
"Not much, sometimes I don't have time"
"Oh I knew you were going to say that"
"Yeah..." I said slightly embarrassed "so you want something to drink?" I said trying to drop that conversation.
"Sure" she nodded.
I went to the kitchen to see what I had and I was confronted to a thousand pizza envelopes thrown all over. Crap. I tried to clean that mess before she could see it but I couldn't do anything else than piling them into a slightly stable column on the kitchen counter.
"Oh you love pizza here" she said popping her head inside the kitchen to look at what I was doing.
"Yes sure" I ironically said.
"Is there a piece left, I'm hungry" she said.
"You literally just ate at the fundraising" I said afraid that I didn't have anything to eat "and trust me you don't want to try this, this is trash, eating this was a violence to my memory of real pizza"
"Ok, I trust you I'm not angry anymore."
"But you still like wine right?" I asked filling a cup with red wine because I knew she didn't like it wine glasses.
"Yes... you remembered" she said taking the cup I was handing to her.
"I remember everything Sarah" I said looking firmly in her eyes.
"So we got a lot to talk about, don't we?" She said sitting on a chair.
"Yes, if you're sure you want to know it, because you don't have to do this, you can just leave and I will understand"
"You better get started because I'm not gonna leave until you told me everything and answered every one of my questions, and they're gonna be quite a few" her resolution made me a little more comfortable, I knew she was tough but how fragile she seemed when she first saw me before had scared me to the bone.
I started telling the story and she was listening carefully to every world. Her phone beeped once stopping my narration and she turned it off so I had her whole attention again. She was making weird faces to some points in the story but didn't say a word, probably keeping the questions for later.
Almost 20 minutes later I could put the words "the end" to that painful walk in my personal hell.
I sighed like a terribly heavy stone had just vanished from above my chest.
She looked weird, like she was still processing all the words in they're order to create the sentences in her head and give them some sense.
"Sarah please talk to me... ask me... I am here" I took her hands in mine so that her look distractedly fell on me again.
"How can someone do this to someone else? It's sick, twisted, insane and absolutely terrifying"
"I don't have an answer to that, believe me I would be able to sleep at night if I knew that" I said.
"I mean you never noticed he was sabotaging your injections and basically making you sicker?" She was confused and this I understood perfectly, it was a lot to digest all at once.
"Do you remember when I told you I was scared there was something wrong with me when we were in Italy for Christmas holidays?" I asked her.
"Yes..." she said massaging her temples with two fingers.
"I knew there was something wrong but I never once thought my friend was trying to kill me" I said and she seemed to notice that that was of such absurdity that she couldn't blame me for not thinking about it.
"But then why didn't you tell me? We could've stayed apart for all the time necessary but at least i could've helped you and you wouldn't have had to do this all on your own."
"When he came to the hospital to see me he scared the crap out of me and I was afraid he might notice if we tried to trick him and then he would've killed me, while I knew he wouldn't touch you if I did as he said"
"Makes sense... I mean everything of this is delusional but this makes sense"
"I tried my best to protect you and stay alive myself" I said and I felt my cheeks warming while my eyes filled with tears. Reliving all of it out loud was the hardest thing i had ever done.
"Okay, enough, come here" she said helping me stand up to hug me.
Her hug made me sob even harder while I tightened my arms around her.
"I never ever wanted to hurt you, Sarah, I'm sorry"
"It wasn't you, now I know, I hope he spends a lot of years locked in jail so that we can finally live our life happily." She said and kissed me before I could speak.
Due to the sweetness and the softness of her lips I easily forgot what I was going to say because a feeling of hunger pervaded my body, I was hungry of her, her kisses, her touch, her breath, everything.
We started kissing harder, more passionately, the weight of her body pressed against mine as we kissed made me lose my balance but she moved with me until my back touched the wall. She paused the kiss "breathe baby" she giggled and I smiled hearing her calling me baby again was all I needed "you're all the air I need" I said leaning forward to kiss her again but I stopped halfway because I remember there was still one thing she needed to know before we got too caught up in the situation.
"What is it?" She asked noticing my hesitation.
"I still need to tell you something" I sighed.
"What? Tell me I'm listening" she said backing up a little. Her brows furrowed forming tiny little wrinkles on her forehead, to see this reminded me she was really there kissing me because it still felt like a dream.
"Uhm... do you remember Vanessa?" I asked lowering my eyes.
"Oh trust me I could never forget that face telling me that maybe she loved you more than I did" she said. Crap what did that little hurricane say... what if she hates her now...
There was no time to overthink though, what was done was done and there was no turning back.
"I'm adopting her" I said all of a sudden.
"You're.. I'm sorry, what?!" She said and the look on her face was priceless I would've laughed but this was so damn serious that I didn't even consider laughing "I mean can you do it?"
"I think I can, I'm not like... dangerous or whatever" what the hell? Was she really questioning me?
"No I mean you're a student, you've just recovered from a kidney transplant, you've been living all alone, hiding the most of the time, I mean I thought you were dead..."
"Things are different now I have already been robbed of too much time, I deserve to live as I want, I know it might seem rushed and foolish but... that little girl and I... I think not even someone who came straight out of my uterus could be my child as much as she is"
Her eyes changed hearing my words but I couldn't tell if it was bad or good.
"I know... I mean I don't know her but I bet she's strong, determined and smart as you are"
"She's way more... you should get to know her... I mean, if you want" she looked at me with question mark shaped eyes.
"Do you want me to?" She asked.
"I love you and I love her, maybe you'll love her too with time.." I said.
"Why are you telling me this now?"
I sighed, why making things so hard?
"I didn't want sex to happen before I had told you everything because it is never just sex with you... you're the love of my life Sarah and I know you have loved me too so I want to make clear that I cannot abandon her and I don't want to, so if you don't want this for yourself we shouldn't have sex because I could not bear to lose you again"
She held me in a tight hug "I'm willing to have a thousand of kids as long as I have you by my side Sylvia, you're the love of my life, so what could possibly be better than that?"
I sighed in relief "I love you so fucking much, you made me so happy Sarah"
"I love you too, but now come here, we wasted a year of love and I'm not going to waste a second more" she whispered leaning in to kiss me again and I agreed, we were done with the talking for that night so I moved the situation on my bed where we could start making up for the love we had lost.
"You know I'm not going to let you leave this bed for days at least right?"
"I wasn't planning of letting you off my sight actually, in case you wanna disappear again" she giggled.
"To be honest... I wasn't planning of letting you off my tongue, I'll be down there where you can see me" I smirked and she laughed while I kissed my way down to her neck, unzipping her dress revealing the only body I ever wanted to touch. She moaned while I kissed her neck, shoulders, collarbone... leaving sloppy kisses all around her body "I've missed this" she said taking deep breathes while I felt her body relaxing under my kisses.
I kissed her breasts, then her belly, until I finally reached where I wanted to be. I looked at her I didn't want her to change her mind, I needed this too, our time together was the thing I had missed the most, she looked at me and smiled with her perfect teeth and lips of hers that had the power to literally drive me crazy but I understood, no words were needed, now that we were back together I wouldn't have let anyone tear us apart.

I woke up because of the sunlight shining through the window, Sarah had already solved the problem tucking her face in the gap between my neck and my shoulder. "Oh no" she whimpered.
"What?" I asked not even opening my eyes.
"You moved and now I can see the light" she explained. I put my head back into position because I would've done anything if it was for her. "Thank you babe"
"I love you" i said kissing her hair. She moved closer moving her arm over my belly and her leg over mine so now I couldn't move but the touch of her bare skin lightly touching mine warmed me. She adjusted herself a little bit until she was comfortable and then she groaned "I love you too".
I thought I was living in a dream, waking up and seeing her beside me was one of my most recurrent dreams but now it was true, it was my life again... the love of my life, naked, beside me, in our bed, the sun shining through the window and... Holy shit. I had promised Vanessa I would've visited her after the event to tell her everything but now it was almost noon and I was still in bed. I jumped sitting on the bed "Holy shit" i repeated out loud.
"What is it, are you okay?" Sarah said sounding wide awake. I had probably scared her.
"I'm sorry babe, yes I'm okay but I'm late" I said jumping off the bed and looking for my clothes around the room "I had promised Vanessa I would've visited her after the event to tell her how it was, plus I visit her everyday so she might be wondering where I am" I explained her.
She was lying on the bed, half naked and half covered by the sheets, with a smile on her face. "Do... you want to say something?" I asked her fastening the buttons of my shirt.
"I'm waiting for you to ask me to come" she said with a guilty smile "I know you wanna do this" she nodded.
"UH... Uh, do you really wanna come with me?" I asked not really being able to realize that it was really happening.
"Oh it was about time! Thank you! Of course I wanna come"
"I never thought you would've been so happy about having a child, I always heard you saying you weren't ready and didn't know how to be a parent" I looked at her not really getting why she was so enthusiast and I really didn't want her to do this just for me.
"I had a dream last night, I think the most beautiful dream I've had in a while and I felt... I felt so happy in my dream, it's like I knew this was the right thing, you are the right thing, Vanessa is the right thing, I want to know her better, I want to tell her i'm sorry for that night and I want to have a family... my own family, with you"
My heart was beating so fast I couldn't breathe, those words were so perfect and filled my heart with joy  "are you... are you sure?" I asked hugging her.
"Of course I am, I love you, I don't need anything but you"
"I love you too, and you'll love her too, let's go I can't wait to tell her, she'll be so thrilled" I said literally dragging her outside.
"Okay okay, but I still like my arm too, so please" she said giggling.
"Sorry love" I said putting my arm around her shoulders while we walked to the hospital.

I am so so sorry, I know it's even useless to say that but i've been so busy, I have to study, all the time, it isn't easy to keep up with everything but then one week ago Italy was quarantined due to Coronavirus so I had the time to write this... I know it's not much and not even a good one, but i hope someone is still reading this and that you will appreciate. I love you guys! Be careful with all of the coronavirus situation, it's not a flu. ❤️❤️❤️🏳️‍🌈