Never stopped loving you

My favourite time of day

Y/N's POV

I sat in my room just staring straight ahead of me. I concentrated really hard and let my eyes close. When nothing happened I opened my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. I accidentally broke a plant pot with my powers too, I really need to learn to control these.

I went downstairs and all the avengers were arguing. I stood in the door way, my eyes probably red and puffy from crying.

"I'm sorry did we wake you?" My dad asked

"Uh, no I don't get much sleep these days, with all the nightmares and stuff." I said shrugging my shoulders.

I went over to the kitchen and made myself a glass of water.

"Hey, go get ready I'm taking you somewhere." Peter said as he lent on the kitchen side.

"Peter, I can't what if I hurt somebody?" I sighed

"I won't let that happen I promise, please?" He said giving me puppy dog eyes.

Damn it I can't say no to him!

"Fine, but if I start acting strange, we come home, Promise?"

"Promise."

I headed upstairs and got changed and then headed out with Peter. We watched the sunrise and then he swung us around the city it was amazing. It made me feel so alive. He made me smile, something I hadn't done in a while. Once we got back in the tower we watched friends.

When Shuri arrived we went down to the lab along with Bucky.

"Hey, so when do we start?." I asked.

"Whenever your ready" Bucky said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I muttered, I think I was saying to myself more than to them.

Shuri held out her hand which I kindly accepted and she lead me over to a chair.

"This may hurt a little bit, Ok?" She said

"Just do it, the quicker they go, the better." I said sternly.

Bucky came and stood next to me and placed both hands on my shoulders to reassure me. I suddenly felt a shock in my brain. An extreme amount of pain shot through my head. I  let out a small cry of pain. I saw something, it was at the tip of my fingers, yet it was so far away. I squirmed in my seat.The memories were nagging at the back of my head but I just couldn't reach them, it was like they were slowly escaping my grasp. I let out another cry.

A loud bang echoed through the room and the pain instantly stopped.What's happening?

"Aah the Winter Soldier and Iron man's daughter, our two most prised possessions ." It was Hydra agents.

"You don't possess anyone!" I yelled.

All the anger, sadness, hurt, pain I felt because of these people, I used against them and let out a blast of red magic and it sent them flying backwards. I heard the Avengers come down the steps and they all began fighting the agents. Then I saw it. The book. It held my trigger words. One of the agents watched me daze at the book and a smirk spread across his face as he began to open the book.

"No!" I tried to grab the book but he had already started saying the words.

"Nenavist....Pozhar....Begat...."

"Hatred...fire...Run..."

I tried fighting it, but it was too strong. I felt the power rushing over me.

"Y/N listen to my voice, you can fight this, come on." Bucky shouted whilst punching a Hydra agent.

I gave him a sad smile and let a few tears slide down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered but nobody could hear me.

"Get... the...book." I managed to let out.

"Vremya...Dusha!"

"Time...Soul..."

I was no longer in control of my body, I was trapped. I screamed but nobody could hear me.

"Soldat."

"Kill them!"

No, please I don't want too do this, don't make me do this. I began walking towards Nat, no not Natasha, please. I tackled her. I jumped on her shoulders and pulled on her hair. I tried to fight it but it was no use, I was completely useless. Once Natasha was down I moved on to Steve. I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

I pinned Steve to the ground and punched him in the face. He held his shield up and I jumped off of it landing on Thor's shoulders I managed to pin him down too, but not for long.

"Y/N , come on you can fight this, it isn't you, please Y/N!" Peter cried.

I tried to fight it, I really tried. I'm so sorry Peter, I tried.

I felt more tears slide down my face.

"Y/N!"

"STOP, STOP,STOP!" I cried

I felt my powers rise, I put my hands up and a massive surge of power came from my hands making everything in the lab come crashing down. No, what have I done? The walls began to crumble, debris falling on my family. I'm a monster. I was too distracted to realise the massive pieces of metal and debris that came crashing down on to me. A sharp pain shot through my legs. My head was spinning.

"Peter..."

Everything went black.

*Time skip, because I'm lazy*

I woke up with a major headache, I didn't open my eyes. I felt another presence in the room.

"Goodbye Y/N." It was Peter.

He kissed my forehead.

I grabbed his wrist to prevent him from leaving.

"Peter, stay" I whispered.

"Y/N?"

I slowly opened my eyes.

"Hey.."

"Oh my god Y/N.. your, your ok!"He said pulling me into a hug.

"Yeah..."

"How is everyone?, Are they ok?" I asked desperately

"Y/N their fine, nobody's hurt, this wasn't your fault." Peter said looking into my eyes.

"That's where your wrong, it was all my fault, I wasn't strong enough and I destroyed everything." I whimpered.

"Peter, I-I don't want to hurt people, but I can't control myself around them."

Peter wrapped me into a tight hug and stroked my hair.

"What did it feel like, being under their control?" Peter asked looking into my eyes.

I gulped down the lump in my throat.

"I felt trapped, like I wasn't in my own body. It was like I was looking through someone else's eyes, I tried to s-scream for them to stop, I tried t-to fight it, I tried really hard, I-I am so s-sorry Peter, I tried, I really did." I didn't care that I was now sobbing.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Peter said cupping my face with his hands.

"You tried your best, that's all that matters to me, I don't care if you accidentally hurt some of us, I don't care that you couldn't control yourself, but what does matter is that you tried." A single tear slid down his cheek.

I did something that I never thought I would do.

I kissed him.