In Another Life

147

"That's not at all how it is. You know that. I've already told you what happened," I retorted, my voice now stiff as I leaned up and stared him in the eye. He nodded. "I know...and he's right for what he did. I just hate to see you hurting. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I did mean that you deserve everything, but not the rest of it. Colby seems like a really good guy, and I can understand why he broke things off. I probably would have done the same thing. So that you could move on and be happy. I don't like to see you hurting though," he replied, hugging me to him. I loved Justin, as a friend, and I always would. I felt safe in his arms. I sighed and leaned away from him. "I guess I better get going. I have to get ready for work tomorrow. Back to my mundane life," I told him, standing up. "Okay, let me call a friend to come get us and take you to you car," he replied, taking out his phone. I nodded, and sat back down. I had forgotten that I didn't have my car. Soon, his buddy was ringing the door bell and we were on our way. My car was sitting next to the curb in front of the park. Flashes of the night before went through my mind and a searing pain shot through my chest, reminding me of why I had gotten drunk in the first place. I wanted another drink. I thanks Justin and his friend, then gave him a hug, before getting into my car. I didn't turn the radio on, because I knew whatever song came on was just going to remind me of...him. I didn't want to even think his name. I really needed a drink or something. To help me deal with this. This pain was too much. I stopped by the liquor store that was on the outskirts of town, and bought another bottle of vodka with some orange juice to mix it. I grabbed a bottle of Grenadine while I was at it. I loved that stuff. The ride home didn't take long, and Denise met me at the door as soon as I walked in. "Where have you been? You just left and didn't tell me anything and you haven't been answering my calls or texts! You know that I was worried. You can't do things like that T!" I shrugged out of her arms, walked to my bedroom, leaving the door open, and dropped my purse on the bed. I knew she would follow me so I turned around and held my hands up. Sure enough, there she was, standing in my doorway, tapping her foot like a mom about to scold her child. "I'm sorry, okay? I met Justin, and we just hung out. I got drunk and he took my phone because I was trying to text Colby." She glared at me, her eyes narrowing to two slits. "Terra, I know you're upset about Colby. I know your heart is breaking. Why won't  you just talk to me? I can't deal with you running off and not letting anyone know where you are. Not when I know your past." Now it was my turn to glare. "Stop it. My past has nothing to do with this. I'm not gonna turn into some junkie whore. I just needed a night where someone didn't make me talk about it. A night with a friend that would let me vent without giving their opinion and let me get drunk. Shit faced drunk. Okay?" Her face turned sympathetic, but I didn't want to see that either. I'd rather she were angry that feeling sorry for me. "Matter of face, I'm going out again. Not with Justin. I'm just going out. I'm probably not going to answer any calls, or texts, so you know ahead of time not to bother." "T, please," she started, but I turned my back to her. I just couldn't and didn't want to deal with anything or anyone else right now. I needed to forget again. "I'm taking a shower," I cut her off and grabbed my towel, before shoving past her. The hot water washed the dirt and grime off of me from last night, though I was sure that my pores were leaking vodka from the smell. Once I was finished, I climbed out, wrapped the towel around myself, and looked in the mirror. Did I look different? I felt different. I felt like my entire world had been ripped away from me, my insides shredded to little pieces with no way of putting them back together. I was nothing but a shell of who I'd once been. Why was I letting some guy make me feel this way? Oh, because it wasn't some guy. It was Colby Brock, and I had no choice. I fucking loved him. I didn't want to love him anymore. It hurt too much. "Hey T, are you almost done?" I heard Denise's voice yell through the bathroom door. "What is it Denise?" I asked, my voice monotonous. "The girls are on their way over. I thought we could have a movie night, or something. Maybe watch some scary Youtube videos? What do ya say? Stay in with us?" I sighed and leaned over onto the counter. "Is there alcohol? I asked. "Yeah, Sarah I bringing 3 bottles of Vodka just to be sure that there's enough. So are you staying?" I really didn't want too, but if they had the alcohol, then I was down. I didn't have much money left and I had been out of work for a week. "Yeah, I'll hang out for a while," I said, not promising that I wouldn't leave. She was quiet for a moment before replying. "Okay. Great. Um, I'll get the snacks and stuff ready...and T?" "Yeah," I asked, annoyance shining through in my voice. "I love you. You know that right? That I'm always here for you? I won't make you talk about anything. I just want you to be okay," she replied softly. Damn it. My eye filled up with tears as I stared at my broken self in the mirror. "Yeah Neece, I love you too," I replied, working to keep my voice steady. I listened and heard her footsteps walk away. I sat down on the toilet, and buried my face in my hands.