In Another Life

152 Colby's POV

"Colby, you need to get up brother. You've been doing nothing but lying in this bed or drinking, since we got home. It's been almost a month since we got home from Savannah." Sam's voice permeated my brain, but I tried to block him out with my blanket over my head. Had it really been a month? One long month that felt like a year without her. I sighed, and squeezed my eyes shut. I had a headache too, from drinking so much last night. Of course, this was becoming a daily and nightly routine for me. I had aspirin on my dresser, just had to get up to get it. Had to wait for Sam to leave me alone first. "COLBY!" he yelled, yanking my blanket off of me. "WHAT SAM, WHAT? LEAVE ME ALONE!"  I yelled back, grabbing the blanket from him and throwing it back over myself. I heard him sigh and could picture him running his hand through his hair, messing it up, while staring at the lump in the bed that was me. I felt him sit on the side of the bed next to me. Great. That meant that he wasn't going to be leaving any time soon. "Colby, brother, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You're spiraling and I'm watching you do it. I can't, and I wouldn't be much of a friend if I let you continue this. I gave you time to breathe, to mourn. You haven't posted anything on your personal channel in a month. You're losing it brother. You've gotta snap out of this," he said. "UUUGHNHH" I yelled, throwing the cover back down and sitting up, making him jump in surprise. I glared at him. "Snap out of it? That's what you want me to do Brother?" I snarled. I was angry. This pain, and this guilt that I had from cutting things off with Terra was eating at me. I missed her.  I needed her, but I couldn't have her. There had been no contact at all with her since the day I said goodbye. The occasional Instagram story was all I had and those had stopped too. First, it was killing me seeing her hanging out with other guys, getting drunk and having fun. I saw the unhappiness in her eyes at first, but it gradually faded out. I wasn't sure what I saw after that, but it was just like she didn't care anymore. And there were multiple guys in her stories. Justin was in a few, and I ground my teeth every time I saw his stupid face. The others I didn't know, but I didn't like the way they were hanging on her or vice versa. She seemed drunk or something in those videos. "I've tried Sam," I said, my voice a little quieter. "I can't seem to let her go, and it's driving me crazy. She's all I can think about, the only thing that I can think about. It's never been this bad before."  I scrubbed my face with my hands, feeling the oil and grime from not having showered for a few days. Sam nodded and looked at me sympathetically. "I know Colby, but it's time. You have to start working on getting your life back together. Stop letting your career sink, stop ignoring your friends, and stop drinking so damn much. You're turning into an alcoholic. I'm worried about you man," he replied, his soft blue eyes almost making me want to cry. But I didn't cry. Or at least I didn't. This past month, I had broken down three times. I counted because it was such a rare thing to me. I had only cried over a girl once before and that was a long, long time ago. I didn't reply so Sam kept talking. "I know this hurts, and it's probably going to keep hurting for a while, but it's not going to get any better if you don't stop wallowing in this pit of despair that you've created for yourself. You have to let us help. Corey, Jake, and I, we're all here for you." I nodded a little, agreeing that I knew this needed to happen. Wasn't sure if it would help and I really didn't feel like coming out of my little pit, as he called it, but I had too. My channel was going to flop soon, if I didn't post something. "Fine," I said quietly, looking up at him. He grinned, that grin that usually made me smile, but not today. "Good," he replied, patting my leg before standing up. "You need to film something for your channel and then you can help with mine and the other guys. It'll help keep your mind off of things." I nodded again as he walked towards my bedroom door. "Oh, and Colby," he said, turning back to me as he reached it. "Yeah," I asked, meeting his gaze. "Take a shower brother. You stink," he replied, smirking at me. I took the pillow behind my head and threw it at him. He ducked out of the way, and I could hear him laughing as he walked down the hallway. "Annoying ass," I muttered to myself as I crawled out of bed. I lifted my arm and sniffed. Okay, he was right, I did stink so shower first. When I was finished, and thoroughly clean, I put on some clean clothes, not really caring what they were. That was actually pretty weird for me. If I was going to be in a video, I should care how I was dressed. I didn't. I grabbed an old black t-shirt and Hollister sweatpants, and pulled them on. After I blow dried my hair, and fixed it, I felt a little better. Not like I was all fixed and could think of...her, without dying a little inside. Soon as she crossed my mind again, a sharp pain rocked across my chest. Fuck, this was gonna be so hard. I groaned and rubbed the spot. I grabbed my phone out of habit and checked to see any new messages. Nothing. Nothing from Terra at least. I'm not sure why I expected there to be. I had told her to leave me alone. It would be like we never met. Except it wasn't and my heart was letting me know that every single day. I went to her fan page that she hadn't been on in a while.