In Another Life

173 Colby's POV

I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. The words coming from her mouth didn't process in my mind. I couldn't even imagine Terra being in that position. My heart was breaking even more with each word she spoke. "Even my ex boyfriend, who I thought loved me. Turns out, he just wanted in my pants, then he moved on to the next one. I have a hard time opening up to people Colby. It's just..." She broke off and ran her fingers through her hair as she held my gaze.  "It's okay T," I replied softly, bringing her hand that I held to my lips and pressing them there gently. She sucked in a hard breath staring at me. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked, bringing her hand back down to the table but holding it inside my own. She shrugged. "I don't know really. I think that I was embarrassed. I never announce to people that I'm an addict. People look at you differently. You're looking at me differently right now," she replied, tears starting to form in her beautiful aqua eyes. I shook my head. "No Terra, it's not like that. I'm looking at you in a new light, yes, but only because of how strong you are. I knew you were strong but I didn't realize how strong. You've overcome so so much, and look at you now. You're a successful photographer living her dreams in LA. Baby girl, this doesn't change the way I feel or the way I see you, besides just making you more incredible in my eyes." She gasped a little when I called her baby girl. I hadn't meant too. It just slipped out, but she would always be that to me. I had stopped saying it after we said goodbye. It just didn't feel right to say it to anyone else. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "And this time Terra? Can you tell me about this time?" She met my eyes again, and I couldn't stop myself from reaching out with my free hand and wiping the tears from her cheek with my thumb. She froze as soon as I touched her. "I'm sorry," I replied, bringing my hand back. "I just...sorry," I mumbled again. "It's okay," she said softly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. "So this time," she started, nodding her head. "This time, I was heartbroken. I don't even think I tried to live without you. It's all a little blurry now but when you left me-" "I didn't leave you," I responded, automatically defending myself. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "Do you want me to tell you or not? It's hard enough without you interrupting," she replied, her voice growing hard. I almost laughed. She hadn't changed that much, but she was much quicker for me to annoy her. I pressed my lips together and pretended to lock them. She gave me a quick smile that I almost missed, and kept talking. "After our split, I was a wreck. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to relive it. I wanted to forget. So I went to the one place that I knew someone would definitely help me forget. My old friend and drug dealer JJ from back home. My old gang was there, or some of them. I think I just fell back into it. I started smoking, drinking, doing coke, and whatever else was offered to me. I started helping JJ deal so that I could afford things, since I lost my job. I didn't talk to Denise and the girls. Completely cut them off, and avoided them. Moved in with JJ, and started dating Levi. I'm not even sure how long I was there. How long I was stuck in that endless procession of drugs and drinking." She shrugged her shoulders. "Could've been forever. One night, Justin came by. He literally put me over his shoulder and carried me out of that life. He saved me." She drew her hand away from mine and started twisting a ring on her middle finger that I wasn't familiar with. I could tell she was thinking about him. Because he was the one who was there for her. Not me. "He helped me through my withdrawals and it was bad. I got sick, to the point that I thought I would die. All I wanted was another hit, of anything really. Just something to take the pain and memories away. Because when the fog from the drugs faded, all I saw was you. You were in my head, and you wouldn't leave. The memories, the feelings. It was like movie on repeat just to torture me with everything I had lost. I cried," she wiped the tears from her face again. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her, even cry with her, for the innocent girl that she never got to be. "I mourned you Colby. It was like you were dead." She started to cry harder in the middle of the dingy, dimly lit bar. I took her hands back and placed one on my chest. "I'm right here," I replied, making sure that she could feel my heartbeat. "I'm right here." She tugged her hand and I let it go. "But you weren't there Colby. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. You didn't save me. Justin did. He admitted me into rehab, and came to visit as soon as he could. Afterwards, he let me stay with him, helped me get back on my feet. He even helped me set up a website for my freelance photography and to make amends with my friends. Justin has really been there for me." She looked up at me again, and I didn't like that look at all. "I shouldn't be here Colby. I just came to tell you why I can't see you again. I'm sorry. It's too hard for me, and my recovery. And I can't do this to Justin. Goodbye Colby." She slid out of her seat while I sat there, shellshocked at what she had said. She was already at the door, exiting the building before I even moved. "Terra! Wait!" I exclaimed, rushing out of my seat and towards the door.