In Another Life

181

Yeah, that part was going to end up ruining my life. I didn't know Colby well enough to just drop everything that I had worked for, to lose the person who had stuck by me, with all of my bullshit. It wasn't logical and it didn't make sense. I couldn't love him. I didn't know him. I didn't know which side of the bed he liked to sleep on, or what his pet peeves were. I didn't know what he was like when he got mad. I didn't know what his life in LA was like, or what his daily routine was. There were a number of things that I didn't know about the man. The memory of me having this same damn conversation with myself three years ago popped into my head. I hadn't known him then either but I fell in love with him fast. I said that I had loved him before I even knew him because I watched his videos. A young girl's dream. A dumb dream. Love didn't work like that. Love was soft, and steady. It kept you warm at night, and held the umbrella over you in the rain. It was a growing ember inside of your heart that would just allow you to fall in love with the same person over and over again every day, despite what their flaws might be. Love was safe. I texted Colby back, just a quick thank you, then went to shower. By the time I was finished, and ready for bed, Justin was already asleep on his side of the bed. I crawled in gently, and lay there until I finally fell asleep. The hike had exhausted me enough that, when I finally did go to sleep, it was a dreamless, dead to the world sleep. I was glad. Between what my life was going like at the moment, and me being nervous about my new job, I wouldn't have been able to sleep. When my alarm sounded the next morning, I woke feeling rested. I glanced over to Justin's side, and noticed he wasn't there. After I finished dressing for work, and was sure that my makeup and hair looked the best that it could, I grabbed my camera and my portfolio, and headed into the kitchen. Justin wasn't there either. I grabbed an apple and walked around the rest of the apartment looking for him. He wasn't anywhere, and I was starting to get anxious. Did he leave me? He wouldn't just up and do that without saying anything...would he? I pulled out my phone and called his number. "Yeah," he answered on the third ring, sounding exhausted. "Justin, where are you?" I asked, trying to get the tremble from my voice. "I'm with Trevor. You know, the kid that I told you about. He called me early this morning, because he didn't want to call his sponsor and needed someone to talk too. So I just snuck out while you were still sleeping." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Why didn't you wake me and let me know? You usually do," I replied softly. "I thought that's what we were doing now. Just going places and doing our own thing without letting the other one know," he answered, his voice clipped and annoyed. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I get it okay. I said I was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. Can we not do this? I'm already nervous enough," I replied, getting annoyed too. There was no point in him throwing my mistakes up in my face if he wasn't going to talk it out. Either, let's deal with it, or just forget it. "Yeah, T. Let's not. I have others things to worry about," he answered. "Justin, please don't be like this," I said. He didn't reply. "Justin?" Then the tone letting me know that the call was dropped sounded in my ear. He had already hung up. My stomach started quivering and not in a good way. There was this pit in my stomach that seemed to be growing larger with every second that passed. I swallowed hard, and put my phone away. If that's how it was going to be, then fine. I thought that we could talk through things like adults but apparently not. Maybe he just needed some time to cool down. I know that his job really gets to him sometimes, not being able to always help those troubled kids as much as he wanted to, but taking that out on me wasn't acceptable. Not like this. I shook Justin from my mind and headed out the door for my first day at my dream job. I had a few shoots scheduled for today, with the prestigious magazine company that had hired me. While I loved to take nature shots, and do art with my photography, I didn't really think that's what I would be doing here. I would be working with other people, the subjects or the main "art" of the photographs. That was fine because I really loved doing that too. The company hadn't explained exactly what I would be doing yet, but I wasn't worried. I was nervous and excited to get started. The office wasn't far but with LA traffic, it took my Uber driver a good hour and a half to get there. Thank God I had anticipated this, and woken up extra early for just this purpose. I thanked the driver and climbed out of the car. I stood in front of the building, just for a moment, admiring the way the sun glinted off of it's glass walls, before taking the first step towards the rest of my life. This job could open up so many opportunities for me. Yes, it was my dream job, because it was the starting point of where I could actually go, if I just put my mind to it, and pushed for what I wanted. I opened the big glass doors and walked inside the cool, air conditioned front office. The lady at the reception area looked up and smiled. "Hi, how can I help you?" She replied. "Hi," I answered, my voice quivering just a little from nerves. "I'm Terra Brooks. It's my first day."