In Another Life

165 Colby's POV

We walked inside her place, that I knew so well, and I went straight to the couch to sit down, while she hung up her coat, and went to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?" She called out. "No thanks, I'm good," I replied. I probably wouldn't be here long enough to get a drink. I really liked Kira. Our relationship was fun and easy. I could see myself making a family with her and having a very sweet, uncomplicated life. I probably would have ended up marrying her in the long run...if Terra had never walked back into my life. The way I felt, the way I still felt, when I thought of her, or saw her... It showed me that I wasn't over her. That I probably never would be. That love was still there. I was finally admitting to myself that it was love. Now, when it was probably too late, but I was still admitting it. Kira walked slowly into her living room, carrying a wine glass, half full. Her face was full of worry and anxiety. I hated this. I hated to hurt her. She had been so good to me and I knew this was happening out of nowhere with her. She sat next to me on the couch, our thighs touching. I turned towards her, wanting to just get it over with, but still not really knowing what to say. I took her hand in mine and faced her like a man. This had to be done face to face. She deserved at least that. "It's because of her, isn't it?" she said, before I even said a word. I snapped my mouth shut, meeting her sad gaze. It tore through my heart, as I nodded. "It is. I'm sorry Kira. I never meant for this to happen. I didn't know that she lived here. I didn't even know that I.." I let my voice trail off. I let go of her hand and ran it through my hair, turning straight and leaning back against the couch. What do I even say? "You love her," she replied. I looked at her sadly, and nodded. "I do. I think I always have," I answered truthfully. "Why didn't you ever mention her to me?" She sat there, looking beautiful and sad, asking me questions about Terra, wanting to know these things. I had to admit, she was strong. Stronger than I knew. "I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. "I just forced myself to stop thinking about her, because it was too hard. It hurt. I think it became a habit for me to just pretend that she didn't exist because it was easier." She looked down at her lap, and started picking at her fingertips. She would always do that when she was upset or nervous. "I'm sorry Kira. I really am." She looked back up and met my gaze again, tears in her eyes. "Why? If you forced her from your mind, then there had be something wrong with your relationship. Why would you throw what we have away for someone that you haven't even thought about in, what, almost three years?" "Kira, please try to understand," I started, taking her hand in mine again. "It wasn't like that. She lived in Georgia, while I lived here. The distance was just too hard, I didn't want to be the reason that she didn't live her life. She was concentrating on me too much, and I on her. That was the problem. We were so wrapped up in each other, that we were letting other aspects of our lives get ignored. I didn't want that for her or myself. So we ended it, but neither of us actually wanted too. I blocked her from my mind because it was too hard to think of her. I was stuck in my bed, drinking all day and night, just to try and chase her from my mind for the first month." She bit her lip, staring at me as one tear rolled down her cheek. I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb. "You know I care for you so so much. I never wanted to hurt you." She closed her eyes as she felt my hand on her face. "This is why you never said I love you back to me. She's the reason," she stated, not asking. I swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes. I didn't know it at the time, but yes. She's the reason. I never even said it to her, but she's the one." When she opened her eyes, anger flashed in them. I knew it would come. "You've basically let me waste six months of my life,  knowing that I loved you. Knowing that I was looking for something more. Knowing that I was just waiting. Just waiting on you to finally admit that you loved me too, that you wanted to make it work. I JUST WAITED FOR YOU COLBY!" She was yelling by the end, and stood up, hovering over me. "She doesn't even want you! This Terra girl left you on the sidewalk while she went to her man. Her REAL MAN. Seems like she's moved on and they looked pretty happy." I dropped my head and let her rant because she was right. Terra had left me on the sidewalk. She had left me and walked to Justin, who had put his arm around her, claiming her as his. I listened to Kira rant and curse me out for a good half hour, before I'd had enough. She deserved to be able to do this, to make herself feel better because this was my fault. I hadn't known that I was still in love with Terra. I hadn't known until I saw her and it all flooded back. While I cared for Kira a hell of a lot, it was nothing compared to the overwhelming flood of emotions that I felt when I saw Terra. My heart had swelled in my chest, thundering in my ears, as I saw those aqua eyes, and that blue streaked hair. She had looked absolutely amazing too, in that blue dress, but I somehow wanted to see her in her sweatshirt and jeans more than anything. I couldn't let her go this time. I had to know if we were meant to be. I would fight for her this time and not give up unless she made me.