In Another Life

178

 I loved Justin, and I never wanted to hurt him. Plus, I didn't really know Colby. I thought I did back then, but in all honesty, we hadn't spent enough time together to really know each other. "You can change that now though," my subconscious decided to speak up. I sighed, and pushed the syrup around on my plate with the bite of pancake that I had on my fork. I couldn't worry about Colby right now. This wasn't right. Justin was right in front of me, had just made me a wonderful meal, and told me that he loves me, when I had been out half the night making out with Colby. When did my morals get so screwed. I promised myself that I would never treat someone like this. Not after everything that I had been through, and the guys that I had been with screwing someone else almost every time. I hadn't had much luck with relationships. Until Justin. I truly did love him. It wasn't the same as what I felt for Colby...for what I HAD felt for Colby. I didn't feel that way now. No, now I was sure that it was just left over feelings from unresolved issues. That was it. The way I was attracted to him had nothing to do with love. I mean, who wouldn't be attracted to him. That hair that just begged you to run your fingers through it. That smile that could make you go weak in the knees when it was aimed at you. Those eyes, the color of the ocean, that felt like they were looking directly into your soul. Not to mention that kick ass body, and that incredible personality. I remembered the way he would smirk at me when he knew I was embarrassed or lying. The way his laugh sounded when he found something really funny. It was this cute little wheeze that you couldn't help but smile at. "Terra?" I jumped when Justin called my name. "Hey," he laughed, noticing he had startled me. "Wow, you were in some deep thoughts there. Wanna talk about it?" I felt my cheeks start to burn and shook my head. "No, not really. What did you say?" He bit his lip looking at me with those beautiful green eyes. "Just wanted to know if you wanted to do something today. Go to the park, or go hiking around Griffins. Just you and me. A day together before you start your new job. You know our schedules are going to be kind of wacky. You'll have normal hours, but me, not so much." I nodded. Justin worked at an behavioral health center as a counselor. He would go and meet these kids at all hours of the night, if they needed him too. He really was incredible and so supportive of me and my dreams. Maybe a day together was just what we needed. I grinned at him and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds amazing! Let me just finish up, get a shower and get changed. An hour tops," I replied. He rolled his eyes and smiled, his cute little dimple showing on the left side of his mouth. "Yeah right. I'll bet that we don't leave for another two hours." I pursed my lips to the side and fake glared at him. "Bet," I replied, then proceeded to shovel my food into my mouth so that I could hurry. He laughed at my reaction, and shook his head. "I'm gonna go finish up some paperwork since I had plenty of time," he replied, before kissing the top of my head and walking to his office. I continued shoveling my food into my mouth until my plate was clean. As I cleaned my mess, and washed my dishes, I thought about Kat and Tara. It would be really nice to see them. Maybe spend some time together. Reconnect the girls with them. Might be fun to have a girl's day next weekend or something. I smiled to myself, then dried my hands, and grabbed my phone. "Hey, give Kat and Tara my number. I'd love to speak to them whenever they're ready. Thank you Colby," I texted him. Afterwards, I jumped in the shower, speed washed myself and my hair, then hurried to my closet to find something to wear. I didn't noticed Justin sneak up behind me and I jumped when he grabbed me around my towel clad waist. "Oh my God," I replied, my breath huffing out of me. He started laughing. "Since when did you get so jumpy?" he asked. I blushed. "I'm not. I didn't hear you come up behind me because I'm trying to hurry and beat your time limit." He trailed his hands over my shoulders, down my arms, over my body, till he met my bare thigh. "Maybe we can stretch that limit a little bit," he replied, his voice getting all deep and husky. I tried to lean back into him and enjoy the feeling of his hands on my body. Only a set of blue eyes filled with hurt kept popping into my head. Fuck. This was my boyfriend! This should be fine! This was fine. I would prove that it was fine. I turned in his arms and pressed my lips to his, with as much passion as I could muster, holding a picture of him in my mind, as I ran my fingers through his hair. I could do this. This was normal. Justin and I, in a steady relationship that was based on trust and love. He grabbed me under the back of my thighs and picked me, so that I slung my legs around his waist, then he carried me to the bed and dropped me. Two seconds later, his shirt was gone and he was on top of me, loosening my towel and letting it drop open. Yeah, this was great. I was in love with him. Colby had my heart. Shit! "Justin" I said aloud, letting it be a reminder to myself. "Yeah baby, whatever you want me to do. I'm yours," he replied, peppering kisses down my stomach. What I didn't expect were the tears. The fucking uncontrollable ass tears that I was unable to stop. I sucked in a shaky breath trying to not let him see. I wanted to do this for him.