When Lust Turns to Love [R-18 SPG] COMPLETED✔️

CHAPTER 25

Hannah Towers' POV

I sigh deeply and stare at the ceiling as I lay on my bed. The faint music from my laptop is filling my bedroom with a lonesome vibe. The setting sun outside is sketching streaks of orange colors across the sky as seen from my small window.

The world is so beautiful but my mind right now is in a devastating state. So many thoughts are running loose around my mind as I think over what I should do.

After so many minutes of hesitation, I sent a text message last night refusing Timothy’s offer for a dinner. Instead, I had dinner with Justin and we watched a movie again. Even though my mind was baffled and I was dying to ask him about Honeybunch, I controlled myself and kept silent about it.

Justin was so caring last night as he did the past days with my ongoing period. Thank God, my period is on its way to being over so the dysmenorrhea has abated along with the occasional aching of my muscle and joints.

But my dilemma doesn’t stop there. There’s Timothy’s text again this morning asking me if he could meet me today. He has something to tell me, he says in his text.

My guilt plunges deeper. What if he wants more? How can I reject him without hurting his feelings? I cannot just blurt it in his face that I am sleeping with another man for money. It’s not that easy for me.

He was such a great company the first time we dated and I feel shitty if he would want us to continue seeing each other. I can't, the guilt is too much. Not that I am so confident that he would fall for me but, there’s that what if?

I groan, I should have not gone to the blind date in the first place. I glance to my bedside clock and it displays 5:40 in the afternoon. Damn it. I pick up my phone and type a reply. With a sigh, I get up and head to the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later, I’m walking towards the nearest park from my apartment. I agreed to meet Timothy and tell him that truthfully how we should just stay as friends.

I spot Timothy sitting on a bench in front of the fountain. He looks so anxious even as he sits there waiting for me.

I approach him and he looks up. “Hi.” I timidly wave before sitting down beside him.

“Hannah!” he breathes a sigh of relief when he saw me. “Thank you for coming.”

“I’m sorry, I was… busy yesterday so…” I start to explain but he cuts me off.

“No, Hannah. It’s okay. There’s something I need to tell you…” he looks at me with anxious eyes. “Hannah, you’re a great woman but…uh,”

I frown at him. I came here with the decision to stop deceiving him but it seems like what he’s dying to say is much more important.

“Timothy, what is it?” I ask him gently.

He stays quiet for a few seconds and looks down at his trembling fingers. I follow his gaze down to his fingers and- whoa, wait. Are his fingernails manicured? My eyebrows crease as I look closer. I don’t remember seeing his fingers this perfectly trimmed and manicured before. I get that he’s a doctor but…

“Hannah, I’m gay.”

“What?” I snap back to his face and he’s looking at me bravely without any hint of mischief.

“What did you just say, Timothy?”

“I’m…I’m gay.” He whispers softly and looks down at his manicured fingers.

Damn. He's a what? My brain is slowly processing his confession and when it hit me, I laugh.  He’s…g-gay? Oh my, I never expected him to be one.

“Really, Timothy? But you said you had an ex-girlfriend.”

“That was real, but a year after her, I found myself confused with my gender preference.”

“Oh. ”

He frantically looks at me. “I-I’m really sorry, Hannah. I was feeling so guilty about it that I couldn’t sleep. You are a wonderful woman and you deserve a man.”

I look at him in sympathy. He must have suffered a bit, given the judgmental society we are in.

I grab his hands to calm him down. “Timothy, thank you for taking the courage to tell me. It must have been hard for you to tell me that considering we just met.”

“This is nothing as compared to lying to you. I only agreed to that blind date since my father learned about it and he didn’t like what he heard. Like, come on, his only son who is a doctor is gay! Even I myself could not believe that I am capable of becoming like this.” He throws his hands up desperately in utter disbelief and anxiety. “My father was threatening me and warned me to get my acts together and start dating women so I agreed with Amber’s set up and he was there watching us that day.”

“What?” Now, that’s another surprise. I didn’t suspect a thing since Timothy was so natural and friendly during the whole time we sat at the café.

“I’m sorry, Hannah. I feel worse for using you.” He looks down again too embarrassed to meet my eyes. “When Amber mentioned she has a bestfriend who’s single, I took the chance. My father was threatening to throw me out if I don’t start dating women again. I was so afraid that time, so…so I jumped to that blind date…”

I pat his back to comfort him. I don’t know what to say. I never knew there are issues like this and it’s happening for real. I understand his rash action in taking advantage of our blind date and deceived me in the process. If only he knows that I was also deceiving him in a way… I want to tell him but I think it won’t matter anymore. He’s already having a burden with his father and I don’t want to give him more stress.

“Timothy, I understand. Don’t worry. I won’t hold a grudge against you. You’re not that handsome anyway.”

He scoffs and a small smile appears on his face. His trembling stopped so I let go of his hands.

“Hannah, thank you for not judging me.”

“All of us are going through something, Timothy. Throwing rocks of judgments to each other won’t help.”

It must have been hard for him to endure all this, especially from his father.

“I hope you sort it out with your father.” I tell him. “And someday, I hope you’ll get the courage to be who you want to be. Be your real self and be real to the people around you without hurting yourself and others in the process. Don't be too hard on yourself. You deserve to be loved. We all do. It may not be an easy journey to be coming out of your closet but it would be better than staying there in the dark alone."

He still looks unsure so I added in a light playful tone. "Who knows, you’ll meet that perfect girl who would turn you around or should I rather say.  .  . that perfect man?"

He finally nods and smiles gratefully at me. “Hannah, thank you for your kind words. I feel better now but I feel so bad doing this to you. Can I treat you with dinner tonight?”

I laugh. “All is well, Timothy. You have nothing to worry about. I would love to have dinner with you but I can’t tonight.”

I have a feeling Justin would come by again at my apartment tonight to check on me again.

“I hope you find the man you deserve, Hannah.” Timothy sincerely wishes me as I stand up and we bid our goodbyes.

I couldn’t help but smile as I walk back to my apartment. I never expected how this day would turn out. I got all worked up for nothing. Thanks to Timothy’s confession, I somehow feel light. The burden of deception has been lifted off my shoulders.

Then the sudden ring of my phone resounds from my coat’s pocket. I check the caller ID. It’s Justin.

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