Nightmares

Chapter twenty-three: Carter

I waited for Harper sitting at a corner table. I liked corner tables. They felt more private, I wasn't as exposed to danger as in the middle of the café which was brighter and more chaotic. My only worry was that Harper wouldn't be able to find me.

I took a sip of my drink and looked at the door again, so I could wave her down if needed. Once again I wondered what her secrets were. Wondered when she would feel comfortable enough to tell me. If she would be comfortable enough. Maybe I'd never find out what hid behind those summer-green eyes, the hint of emotion that had flashed for a second that day.

I looked up from my drink and saw her standing there, looking around at all the happy tables. I messaged her and she looked up at me, and smiled.

It had been a long time since someone had smiled at me like that. Memories of my sister flashed, and I tried to hide the pain as she approached my table. I stood up to greet her, pulling out her chair for her. Mum said women liked men who knew how to be a gentleman.

"Hi."

"Hi." I replied, with a small smile.

What did I say now?

"You look nice." I said, inanely. For lack of a better opening.

She gave a smile in return. "How have you been?"

"I'm fine. College is busy, but it always is." I said, "You?"

"Life is up and down." She said.

I nodded as if I understood.

We were quiet for a minute, wondering what to say.

"Fuck it." I sighed at last. "I suck at conversation starters."

She smiled again. "Me too."

"Well at least we have something in common." I joked.

We laughed together tentatively.

"Tell me about your family." Harper said, leaning in.

"There's not much to say." I said hesitantly. "It's just me and my mum now. My dad died in a car crash when I was twelve, and my sister was in a coma for five years. She passed away two years ago."

We were quiet for a few minutes. Way to lighten the mood, Cart.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know." I assured her. "That's why I have insomnia."

A lie, kind of, but I wasn't ready to tell her the truth yet.

She nodded in understanding and we fell quiet again. This was now beyond awkward.

"Why don't you tell me about your family instead?" I asked.

She smiled, and began to tell me about her little brother and parents, I nodded and listened.

After that initial awkwardness, conversation slowly started to pick up. (Thank God.) I haven't done this in a long time. And it was hard to imagine what she would say if I told her half the things I had done in my life.

Please. If I told her even half the things I had said and done in my life, she'd be out of it faster than the bullet that almost grazed me in my dreams.

~*~

We finished our drinks and bickered over the bill. I'd like to say I won, but we split it. I was still grumbling when we got outside.

"Don't be such a gentleman." Harper laughed. "It was only a bill."

I just sighed. Taking her hand, we walked towards the park.

"What are we doing, going to the swings?" Harper joked.

I just smiled. Hand-in-hand, we arrived at the swings and despite her joke, Harper's face lit up like a kid. I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing. She sat on one swing and I sat on the other, kicking off at the same time, we swung in sync. Smiling at one another.

"I used to think that if I swung high enough, I could touch the stars." I told her.

"The Big Dipper?" She asked.

"Or Orion's Belt." I said with a wink.

We shared a smile.

Suddenly the light in Harper's eyes died.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing. Just, I'm sorry Danny was so...off with you the other day." She told me.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it, babe. Boys tend not to like me."

She raised her eyes at the word 'babe' but let it slide.

"Why not?" She asked instead.

"I intimidate them. I'm not really a people person. I'm too distant. Pick a reason." I said, kicking off on my swing again, which had halted during our conversation.

She followed my lead and soon we were engaged in a contest of who was higher. So we were children again, who cares?

"Hey, Harp?" I halted suddenly, not sure if she would want to answer the question.

"Yeah?"

No way out now. Not unless she gave me one.

"Why were you so upset that day? At the park?" I asked.

She was quiet for a little while, before shrugging.

"Not to pry or anything, I just wondered. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I told her. Suddenly realising it might be a sensitive topic.

She nodded slowly, before hopping off the swing. I followed her as she walked out of the park and down the path.

"Hey." I said, running to catch up with her and squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

She nodded and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I know you didn't. Let's just, let's just keep walking."

I nodded. "Whatever you want, Harp."

We walked side by side for a minute or two and Harper took my hand, almost without really realising it. I gave it a reassuring squeeze and she smiled at me tentatively.

Walking, we glanced at each other occasionally and I smiled at her. But she didn't quite smile back, and I knew it was time to call it a day.

We walked through the park, heading slowly back to Harper's house. Outside, I squeezed her hand and waited as she walked up her drive and opened the door softly, looking back at me and giving me a smile. I raised a hand and smiled back as she shut the door.

Turning away with a sigh, I tried not to think about how much I had screwed up. This was why I didn't get close to people. I never knew what to do when they got emotional. Was I just emotionless? Incapable of understanding that sort of thing?

My phone pinged with a message from Harper and I turned back to the house.

Thanks for a great day.

Harper was standing at the window, giving me a smile that reassured me that things would be okay. I smiled back.

Thank you for listening. I promise I'll be ready to listen when you're ready to talk.

Looking back, I saw her nod and smile again before the curtains shut. I guess tonight wasn't such a mistake after all.

Hey,

How have you all been?

Anyway, this chapter I wrote to get the awkwardness out of the way, but they've still got secrets. Question is: will they reveal them?

Meh, that's a story for another chapter. *Shrugs*

I might update sooner this week because lockdown is boooring.

Anyway, see you soon.