Nightmares

Chapter forty-one: Carter

I hadn't heard from her in a few days. I know it wasn't much, but I was used to her messaging me little notes throughout the day. Texts and smiley faces that perked me up throughout the day whenever I felt a bit low. Was she alright? Was she in danger? Was she hurt?

And then there were the selfish questions. Was she mad at me? What had I done? Why was she giving me the cold shoulder?

I missed her, whatever the reason may be for her not answering my calls. I wondered what she was doing. Whether she had finished her book. Whether she had seen the stars recently.

I wondered if she loved me. Whether I loved her back.

I shook off those kinds of thoughts though. What was the point in torturing myself?

Why was she mad at me?

I went to the park, needing to be somewhere else. Anywhere else but here. The house was suffocating me; and it hurt to breathe. I needed fresh air. I needed somewhere new to reflect over my life rather than staring at the same old, un-inspirational four walls of my bedroom.

I wanted to contact Harper, but she wasn't answering my texts or calls. I wanted to meet her, but she didn't want to. Why wasn't she answering me?

I slumped on the bench, not caring if I looked miserable. I was miserable. I missed her. I missed Harper, missed her smile, her laugh, her curious, loving gaze. What was wrong with her? Was she hurt? Was she in hospital?

I sighed and looked up, looking around the almost empty park. My eyes narrowed as I saw a familiar figure in the distance. I stood up and stalked over to him, I wanted answers, and he was going to give them to me whether he wanted to or not.

"Where's Harper?" I demanded as I stalked over to him.

He looked at me, bemused.

"She's at home." He informed me, casually, like I wasn't slowly going out of my mind.

"Why hasn't she messaged me? Is she alright?" I asked him.

"She's fine, she just doesn't want to contact you. Get over it." He told me with a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why not?"

"She doesn't like the way you treated that boy she befriended." I heard a hint of distaste in his voice.

No fans for the new boy then, huh?

I sighed. Why didn't she trust me and my judgement?

Then again, why didn't I trust her and her judgement? They were two sides of the same coin after all. So why couldn't we agree to disagree? Why couldn't we reach a mutual agreement? Something we were both happy with?

I sighed again. "Why don't you like him?" I asked.

"I don't trust new people. And I thought Harper didn't either." He told me, reluctance lacing his voice.

I raised an eyebrow. "I thought she trusts too easily." I contradicted.

"Not until you came along. And if she sticks with you then she's going to get hurt."

I narrowed my eyes. "I would never hurt her. I'd kill myself first."

"When the going gets tough..."

"The weak run for the hills." I finished for him. "But I'm not weak." I told him pointedly.

"Neither am I." He denied.

"Just stay away from her. Let me keep her safe." I ordered him.

"And how will you keep her safe?" He questioned in a disbelieving tone.

"Because I know what the danger is." I told him. "I may have dragged her into the danger, but at least I know how to fight it."

His lips tightened into a frown. "You should have kept her out of the danger in the first place." He said before he walked away.

Who says she was safe with you in the first place? What secrets are you hiding? I wondered as his retreating back got further and further away, and my accusations stayed locked behind doors I wasn't quite willing to open. For her sake. Only for her sake.

~*~

I didn't believe Harper really wanted to avoid me at first. I thought Danny was just being a spiteful brat. I thought he was just jealous. I thought...I thought he was still hiding something, I'll admit it. But she still didn't call, and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Danny was right.

I know I was a bit off with New Boy, but was she really that upset over it? She knew I was just careful. She knew I had a hard time trusting people.

At least she wasn't hurt. I couldn't bear it if she was hurt. I had to find him before she got hurt. I had to find him and kill him. Why not go to the police? Why not let them find him and handle it? Why go to all this trouble?

"I have control of your family. I know where you hide. Who you talk to. Who you love. What you do. Try something, and you won't have a chance to do it twice." He whispered to me as he held me by my collar, pressing a knife against my throat. "I won't kill you...this time. But if you slip up again...I may not be so nice."

I shivered at the memory. This was something I had to do alone. I couldn't let him win. But I couldn't be too rash about it either. I had to play it smart. I had to make my move on the chessboard to keep surviving this game we were playing. And I wondered, was Danny just a pawn in his side of the game, or could he be a potential ally?

Shame you only find out who your real friends are when you're in trouble.

I'm determined to finish this book by the new year. Wish me luck.