Nightmares

Chapter thirty: Carter

I held Harper, absorbing what she had told me. Protecting her as if by holding her, we could block out the rest of the world and forget how it tried to hurt us in the past. I wanted to tell her everything would be okay. But I didn't want to lie to her. How could I tell her everything was going to be okay? I didn't even believe that myself.

Eventually, we broke apart. It was nearly nine o'clock and the sun was setting in the sky. We'd been out for a long time. Her parents must be getting worried. Standing up, I offered her my hand.

"Come on, let's get you home." I told her, helping her to her feet.

She smiled at me. Hand in hand, we strolled to the park gates and I squeezed her hand gently, she gave me a soft smile and we walked along in silence. I wondered if she knew what I was thinking at that moment, as I watched her in the dying light. I smiled as she walked towards the gates, lost in thought as she strolled in the darkness.

She only saw the light in the darkness, she didn't look in the shadows like I did. I wished I could keep my world separate from hers, wished I could let her keep the innocence she had. But if she asked, I would answer with the truth, every time. Mum had raised me not to lie. Even if it hurt to tell the truth. And I...I loved her too much to lie to her. Even if telling the truth tore me up inside, I wouldn't lie to her. Not unless telling the truth would put her in serious danger. Then I would do whatever it took to keep that information from her. To keep her safe.

We arrived at her house, and I squeezed her hand gently and gave her a smile. She smiled back gently and kissed my cheek before vanishing inside. I stood still for a minute, my brain absorbing what had just happened, a smile forming on my face as I thought about what she did. Stepping away, I looked at the house as the curtain twitched and she peeked out and smiled at me. Smiling back I waited as the curtain fell back into place before walking away. I felt a smile grow on my face as I walked away, dazed from her kiss. Suddenly, I was pushed against the side of a house.

Blinking, I studied the familiar person in front of me as I fought to control my temper that was threatening to bubble up. My stare turned into a glare when I recognised him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped, pushing him away.

"Stay away from her, Carter." He threatened. "She may trust you, but I sure don't."

"Well you're the one threatening me. You can't go around abusing people on the streets." I growled, glaring into his dark-brown eyes. A niggling part of my brain more and more certain I'd seen him before. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

"You're dangerous." He spat.

"How do I know you're not too?" I snapped back. My temper wearing thin.

He didn't reply, just glared at me.

"Leave her alone." He repeated, "If you know what's good for you."

We shared a look; his eyes were full of threat. A threat I couldn't quite read.

"You love her." I realised.

He didn't say anything.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" It was a rhetorical question. "No wonder you hate me."

"I want what's best for Harper." He told me, neither confirming nor denying my accusation. "And she's not going to get it with you. You'll put her life in danger."

"Why would I do that?" I asked.

"The dark changes people." He said. "You think of a time when you're in danger and imagine her next to you. Now you tell me you would do whatever it takes to keep her safe and you wouldn't abandon her to save yourself."

"I would never leave her behind." I said scornfully. "Don't pretend you know what's best for her. You don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"Really? If she was in danger, are you going to be there to get her out of it and risk yourself if something goes wrong to save her?"

"Yes. And what's more, I would make sure that she was never in danger again." I snapped at him. "Don't ever pretend to know what I've done and seen in my life. You don't know the half of what happened in my past to make me the way I am."

He just watched me and as he watched me, I wondered if it wasn't completely true. What was he hiding?

"Just leave her alone, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if you don't." He told me, walking off without another glance back in my direction.

I watched him go, frustration bubbling up, and I thought about the knife snuggled against my skin. I was someone he really didn't want to mess with. I'd learnt not to take shit from anyone in the past. And if he wasn't careful, he was going to find that out in a very slow, very painful way.

Don't underestimate him, Carter. A voice in my head told me as I touched the hilt of the knife through my jean pocket. He's not as pathetic as you think. He's not just going to make an idle threat like that if he loves her. Love makes people do crazy, irrational things. Lord help me, I knew that.

I struggled to think who was more dangerous. Me or Danny. Or him. Either way, I would do my best to protect Harper from all of us is necessary.

Maybe it would be better if she cut all of us off. We were all too dangerous for her. We were all going to put her at risk if we associated with her. We were going to dive too deep if we kept moving at this fast pace. We had to slow down before one of us tripped and spoiled this impromptu, badly choreographed dance we were performing.

I thought over Danny's words, and wondered why I couldn't shake off this feeling that I knew him. I knew him and he knew me. My only worry was if he remembered me. I had to figure out who he was before he made his move. I had to watch my back. He was capable of doing anything. And if he really did love Harper, it wasn't just me who was in danger. She was too. He might say he loves her. He might say he wants the best for her. He might even say he wouldn't hurt her. But love made people unpredictable. Who knew what he was really capable of?

I just had to watch my back.

I had to protect Harper.

No matter the cost.