We sat in silence for a while. I was absorbing everything he had told me and was starting to realise that he had more secrets than it seemed.
I guess he was right to distrust strangers. I sighed. I should tell him. It wasn't fair to keep it from him any longer.
"Carter?" I paused, hesitant to go on.
Turning to face me, we locked eyes. I shouldn't be scared to tell him this. It was just what made me, me. But I guess the fear of rejection was nibbling the edges of my subconscious.
He scooted closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder. He didn't say anything; and I got the feeling he didn't want to rush me.
"Remember that day I was crying?" I asked him.
"The first day we met? Unofficially?"
"Yeah." I told him. "God I must have looked crazy."
He gave a tiny smile but didn't deny it.
"Well I was crying because, it seems so silly now, but I was crying because I couldn't remember where I was meeting a friend." I smiled a little.
He just nodded.
"But it wasn't just that I was really crying about. I had a seizure earlier that morning. It just annoyed me that I couldn't even remember where to meet a friend for a drink." I sighed.
"Seizure?" Carter asked, confused.
I just nodded. "I'm an epileptic."
He blinked at me.
"Epilepsy is a disorder that causes seizures and fits." I explained.
He nodded slowly.
"I know there is nothing I can do about it. But I like order in my life because of it. Ever since I was little, I enjoyed knowing everything was going as smoothly as possible. I was punctual, neat. Everything was ordered, colour-coded, in alphabetical order. Everything was organised. As if somehow that could make up for the fact that my mind would make my body go out of control." I sighed. "And it just bothered me that people would mess it up."
I looked at the ground. I hardly told anyone this. And the fear of rejection was now swaying in my stomach making me feel nauseous.
Carter squeezed my shoulder and I leaned into him. Grateful for the silence.
"We'll get through this together, babe." He told me. "We will."
"Babe?" I said raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged. "I thought girls liked being called that?"
I chuckled. "It's not bad."
We stayed like that for a while. And I wondered if he would be brave enough to stay once he saw the mess I was underneath. I hoped so. I hoped he'd stay. I could only hope he didn't leave me like he did.
Thanks for being so patient, honestly I have no reason for the late update except for the fact I totally forgot to update this chapter, I wrote it a couple of days ago and proofread it, but I never posted it. I'll update again next week.
Anyway, how have you all been?
K
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Nightmares
Teen FictionFollowing a tragic accident, an insomniac struggles to deal with the memories and guilt that he feels every day. He carries secrets with him that no one knows, but when he meets Harper, a girl with struggles and secrets of her own, he feels a conne...