AVENGERS ONESHOTS (requests are closed)

Fucking with time~ Wade Wilson

Request- Deadpool breaks the fourth wall and goes back in time to save Nat and Tony

@Starr_Riddle-Malfoy

Warnings- language

Words- 2099

~~~~~~

"This is so sad, music department, play heroic sad music, " Wade says as he watches from the trees. Seeing everyone dressed in black as a beautiful bouquet on flowers flowing down a lake. Wade sniffles and snorts as he begins to dramatically cry.

"I'm sorry, it's just, it's so beautiful and so sad, " he says and covers his face as he cries. A notification from his phone ceases the obviously fake whimpers. He slides his thumb over the answer button and holds it to his ear.

"Oh, hey, Weasel, " he says in a now chirpy tone. "Have you seen the news, Tony's dead. Fans are flipping their shit here?" Weasel says as he muffled commotion and cries rings in the background. "Yeah, I'm actually watching the whole Tony dying thing right now, " Wade says and Weasel scoffs.

"How?" he asks, "I'm stalking them, but I really wanted to see that fight. Oh my GOSH! Stevie lifted the hammer, " 

"Well, everyone is flipping out here, " Weasel says and Wade says and furrows his brows when he saw Doctor Strange walk by. "I'll be right back, " he says and ends the call. He jumps from the tree and lands on the leafy ground. He trails Strange and jumps on his back, holding his hand to his mouth. 

"Shh, don't panic! It's okay, shhh, " Wade says quietly as Stephen panics as the person was clinging to his back, arms, and legs wrapped around his torso. Stephen tried to calm his muffled screams as he pulled Wade off of him. The cloak being summoned and wraps protectively around Stephen. His hands go up and the gold, sparking rings rotate around his wrists.

"Woah, Woah, Woah, " Wade says and stands up with his hands up. "Look, I normally don't say this but I'll make it quick, " Wade says, "My name is Wade and I need you to go back in time with the green thingy so we can get back Tony and Natasha, " he says and Stephen looks at him and furrows his brows. 

"This an outcome I really didn't like, " he says and shakes his head, "I don't have it, you would have to go back in time to the Ancient One, " he says. Wade scoffs and looks to the side. "Some people, " he groans and Stephen looks to the side and squints at the sight of nothing, but trees.

"Who are you speaking to?"

"The fans. Doesn't matter, how can I go back in time?" he says and Stephen gapes, "Uhh, Steve is going back in time to return the stones. You can use that machine, " he says and Wade smiles and runs off, "Thanks doc, "

Somewhere farther into the woods was Bruce, Sam, and Bucky.

"Hey, can I use that?" Wade asks and hops on, "Thanks, " he says and stands in the middle. 

"Umm, " the group glances at each other. "Look, I'm here to save Tony and Natasha and you little boyfriend, " Wade says and points to Bucky. "He isn't my-"

"Shut up and take me to when Natasha was just about to kill herself, " Wade says and Bruce steps up, "Who the hell even are you?" Wade groans, "Wade! Deadpool! Come on! Seriously no one knows me here?"

Everyone stays quiet and Wade huffs, "Fine, I'll do it myself, " he says and pulls out a knife. "Alright, is there an on button?" he says as he looks over the keyboard of many buttons and lights and switches. He plays around until he thinks he has it. "Oh please god be right, " he says and he readies his blade over his wrist. "Now, if I chop off my wrist, I'll be able to press and hold this button and go back in time. Completely rational, " he says and Bucky clears his throat, "Um, not a good idea.