P.S. I'm Dying

GABE

GABE

I hung up the call and stared at the ceiling.

Why did I even choose to call him? Dapat hindi na! Dapat ibigay ko na lang sa iba ang pag-feature sa restaurant niya.

No. Just not me.

I can't do this.

I can't arrange an interview with him.
I bit my lips as what he said occupied my mind.

I'm sorry Gabe, pinagtitripan ako ng a—

I hung up because I know what he is going to say. Pinagtitiripan siya ng asawa niya right? And I don't want to hear that one coming from him.

I can't. I still can't. Nagdalawang isip pa nga ako kung tatawagan ko ba, then ito ang napala ko.

I can still hear the woman's voice in my head:

"Hello?" I greeted on the line.

"Hello, Belen Residence. I'm Mrs. Belen. Who is this I'm speaking with?"

The woman's voice vibrated through my ears and almost made me hang up the damn call.

"I'm Gabrielle Francisco from Talk-Active Magazine. May I speak to Mr. Alexander Belen?"

"Oh, hold for a minute," maikling sambit niya, then I heard a yell like, "Lex, call for you!"

"Hello. Alexander Belen, speaking." his voice made my heart skipped a beat.

I hated it because it is the same cheerful voice, the same annoying voice that always tease me.
And I still love it.

"Lex?" that's the only word I said after years.

"Yes?" But I bet he doesn't remember me, not even my voice.

"Si Gabrielle Francisco to, you still remember?" I asked.

After a minute pause he replied, "High school? Gabe ikaw ba?"

See? He doesn't remember me at all.

"Oo." maikli at dismayadong sambit ko.

Hindi siya sumagot. Then, I heard him shouted in a distracted voice, "Cheska!"

Distracted.

Maybe, yung wife niya biglang sinunggaban siya as if owning him. Para malaman ko na kahit nasa phone call, she still can do what she wants with him.

Maybe, they are kissing now. Her, wrapped around him like a snake. . .

Ugh! Stop thinking like that, Gabe!!

"I'm sorry Gabe, pinagtitripan ako ng a—"

And that's why I hung up.

I knew what they did.

I knew what he did.

What she did.

I knew what he is going to say.

I predicted it all.

I'm sorry Gabe, pinagtitripan ako ng asawa ko.

Tears came crushing from my eyes and I reached for my Journal as my other hand wipes the tears that escaped.

Kailangan ko ng pampagaan ng loob, and I need to read a memory.