Erase Herゾごホ

損傷した - damaged

I was on my knees for a much less exciting reason than I was anticipating for being with Shouta. I heaved, slamming my fist into the dirt ground beneath me as the last few strands of black smoke escaped my lips.

"You're afraid." He scolded, standing in front of me, offering me a hand to my feet. I scoffed, spitting to the ground and pulling myself to stand.

"I'm not." I lied through my teeth, dusting off my knees that was littered with scratches and tiny rocks stuck in my skin. He sighed, slipping his hands back into his pockets with a frown. I glared at the man, a scowl obvious on my face. The top half of his jumpsuit had been opened and tied around his waist, leaving him in just a plain black tank top exposing his biceps as he flexed every so often because of the cold. His long black hair had been tied up in his classic make-(y/n)-wet-style bun, and the stubble on his chin seemed more scraggly as he seemed to be getting more and more tired with this whole summer camp thing for his class.

"What do you have to lose?" Shouta asked, his hands resting on his chin.

"Besides my tongue?" I shot sarcastically. Well, it was sarcastic because I could really lose my tongue. "Shouta it's 4am and this is the fifth time I failed. Can we please just leave it at that?" I whined, placing my hands on my hips.

"Well what's going to happen if you lose control one day and asphyxiate to death?" He asked and I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it. I wanted to say, you'll be there to save me. But it became apparent to me that, he wasn't planning on it and I was a fool to think anything that childish. I blinked, trying to stop my mask from falling, trying to bury the feeling in my chest. Bury it, bury it, bury it.

"I have the rest of my life to prepare for that, Shouta. Can't you grant me one little night of pleasure till then?" I joked, forcing the morbid feeling out of my chest with a smile. Shouta rose an eyebrow at my demeanor, making me question if he could actually see through me at this point. Have I let him too far in? Have I broke down too many walls?

"You speak of death so...frankly." He mumbled, walking over to my car and pulling a water bottle off the hood before tossing it to me. I caught it, the wetness on the bottle cooling me as I unscrewed the cap.

"When you have nothing to lose, death doesn't seem that scary." I said bluntly, a coldness creeping into my chest. Shouta frowned, leaning against my car with his arms crossed.

"Nothing to lose, huh?" He said, his tired eyes trained on me as I shifted my weight from one hip the other. I brought a finger to my head, scratching lightly as I thought about it. Sure, I had friends. Mirio, Tamaki, Nejire. But they have their own successful lives to lead, my death would only bring character development for them as they would probably do something like, 'Make sure everyone can control their quirk so no one dies like our sweet and fragile childhood friend'. My mother is dead, my fault really on that one. And my father, well, that story is indisputable given. I'm sure he'd be more excited than anyone to hear about my passing. So, yes Eraserhead. I do have nothing to lose, but instead of telling you all this I think I'll settle for something along the lines of...

"You only live once or whatever." I shrugged, playing my deep depressing feelings off as being young and dumb. He shook his head, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck with little effort.

"You really should value your own life more, (y/n)." He stated and I rolled my eyes as I took a drink of the water he handed to me. "I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to you." He said, almost too softly. I choked back on my water, clearing my throat instantly as I tried to hide my surprise. Wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to me? I'm a summer fling, I'm sure it would barely bring down your morning coffee, Shouta.

"Right, right." I waved my hand in the air. "I don't want to see anything bad happen to you, because I'm a hero and heroes save people." Shouta's lips pressed into thin line, as he inhaled deeply, almost as if he was picking the right words to say. His dark eyebrows furrowed downward, his eyes drifting from me to his shoes as he exhaled.

"It's deeper than that, (y/n)." He mumbled, finally looking me in the eye. My heart jumped in my throat as I watched him push off my car and steadily make his way towards me. My lips twitched into an angry frown. Is he toying with my feelings? His hand reached for my face, his touch growing closer as the beating of my heart became more rapid.

"I highly doubt that, Shouta." I snapped. His eyes flickered softly and his lips parted as his hand froze in advances. Keep your walls up, (y/n). "I'm just a distraction, right?" I spoke, my voice cracking quietly as I fought off the tears forming in my (e/c) eyes. I made a mistake by returning to Sakura that night. I made a mistake by going home with him again. I made a mistake by letting him tag along on normal things I usually do alone. I made a mistake when I let this...whatever this is morph into something more than just sex.

"You will always be alone, (y/n)."

I sniffled, wiping my nose with the sleeve of my sweater as I cleared my throat. How did I think I deserved this kind of romance? This kind of happiness? After everything I've done. Bury it, bury it, bury it. I looked up at Shouta, who had turned his back to me by now, feeling more distant than he had ever been within arms length. I stared up at the sky, ignoring the gnawing in my stomach. "I think I'll be going now." I made my way to the drivers seat of my car, pausing with my hand on the handle. Shouta still refused to look at me, refused to stop me, making the aching in my bones pulsate harder.

"I think our partnership has reached its limit."