Beauty in white. | Ksj•Kth

Agony.

“If he was such a kind and moral man than why he committed such a vile act? If Taehyung loved him so much than why he sought love from someone else.” I emitted some of my questions as it was bothering since Jimin faintly lighted his brother's past.
       Jimin sighed shrugging. “The answer of those questions left with him. Only if me and my brother knew his beloved's mask. Today must have been alot brighter.” His depression came back. A lost of color.
       I think pushing this topic more isn't good idea. “I think we did enough. It will soon get dark. This forest is creeping me out, let's go home.” He nodded, drying his eyes and we left the frosting forest. 

~~~

      “Brother is home!?” Jimin jumped out of carriage, snapping me out. He stated after he saw the black stallion resting in stable. Jimin hastily walked in and pushed the gates open. As we walked inside, Jimin gasped his with his eyes wide. I followed his gaze and looked at all the white flowers were scattered on the grass as someone harshly plucked them. Garden lost its pride. 
     We ignored it for awhile and walked faster into the house. As we stood on the threshold, we saw Taehyung sir sitting on a sofa. Those candles giving us privilege to see his distressed self slumped. His head hanging low, hairs swaying with the winds. Something incoherent coming through his mouth. Seemed like he was drunk.
      He was indeed drunk, there was an empty bottles lying on floor. Maids and butlers stood in corner with concerned looks.
      Taehyung sir raised his head and looked at us. His face unreadable with his gaze coldly on me and Jimin. His face was flushed. Though he looked intoxicated, yet he was strong enough to stand firmly. He ran his fingers through hairs and bit his inner cheek.

      “Jimin where you were?” His voice was as strong as when he sober.
      “B-brother we went near stream to learn nature for painting.” he stuttered. “Are you hungry? Should I serve you the dinner?” He walked close to his brother, but paused when Taehyung unknowingly hissed.

      Sir clicked his tongue. “No, I don't have mood to eat. Just I need a little privacy to talk with your art teacher.” his eyes landed on mine. “Can we Mr Jeon?” I founded myself nodding. “Yeah sure.” I followed him, staring at Jimin who gave me slightly nodded his head.

     We reached in shattered room, everything was disheveled. Like storm visited. Duvet, cushions, curtains were scattered on floor. Mirror was flawed with a big crack as if it was punched. Books were lying down from its shelf. There were some papers swaying out of the cupboard. Everything was mess here, this room was marvelous but now... 

       I timidly stood in corner, my nose scrunched up as a strong liquor trace entered my nostrils when he past me.
He stood in front of me with his red eyes drooping.
      “So, what's with the letter, huh?” His voice sometimes crawls on my skin. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm afraid.
       I stepped little closer with my hands joining “Sir, my remorse tortured me for I didn't begged you a forgive and it will always be my one of biggest ill act. I'm sorry Sir.”I lowered my head and fumbled with fingers.
     “You should first think of whatever you let out of your mouth, Jeon. You thought I would believe in peice of paper and go for that person who hasn't wrote it's name, address, or a  stamp. This whole letter is skeptical.
A person hidden with no valid proof to provide help. I help people but I don't trust anyone easily.” He took a breathe through mouth as his voice came little rough.
“I never let anyone come to my room. You are an acquittance, and thinking of your urgency, I listened you. But, you disappointed me. You should had first talked with Jimin, he might have kept an idea of talking to him first, as I don't let anyone in.” He plumped on his bed as he alcohol made him weak.
      “Disappointment was far from its meaning, when you acted that way but you brought me a pain in my every fiber, every breath when you took that name. Taetae.” He bitterly spit through his greeted teeth. “The name that I haven't heard for a while. You rubbled me there. A name that I crave to hear yet kills me with great agony and dreary memories.” An unexpected tear slipped through which gave me profuse guilt and pain with confusion.
     “You know why that name is an equivalent to curse?” he asked.  “Because my wife used to call me with that name.” His voice cracked. “I love him I still do. I haven't taken his name nor his topic. Miss him. Let open my heart? Will you hear me? Will you hear my story?” A sudden softness came in tone, body and eyes, I nodded.

“Kim Seokjin, very beautiful man with quite big heart. The one who had me to his feet. I worshipped him, loved him so much that I could walk on fire and shattered glass for him, take a slay for him. My love was too strong. His exceptional beauty had me going insane. His beauty mocking heaven. I loved and didn't mind calling myself weak and bewitched for him. His touches, voice, presence brought me paradise. We were so happy together. A beautiful heavenly bliss before my eyes.” A nostalgic smile appeared through tears which died soon.
      “But, my fate was Ill. I wasn't enough for him or he had deep pride for his beauty and it encouraged him to use in unpleasant and filthy ways.” His voice wavered, he looked at me with his brows arched in sadness.
      “He cheated on me!” He cried with his nerves popping out. “He slept with his parmour on my own bed, he let other taste his beauty that I proudly thought it was mine.” I felt my heart clenched at his every loud sobs.
     “I gave blind eye to it, though it killed me every second, suffocated me. I kept my mouth shut. I thought as long as he is here, staying with me, I'm fine. I just wanted his presence to keep me sane, to keep me going. But, he wanted to leave me. He tried to run away from me with him—after committing adultery. I wasn't man enough or was selfish to let him go and watch him happy and in arms of another man. His body touched by him. Call me selfish, but I wanted him all mine.” He swiftly stood, his agony washed away with pure rage emerging. A growl from him was diabolic.
       “I wanted to tether him with me for forever, and mock his failed bravery, bound his beauty for me that he had pride of, to break him with my love, torture him and remind that he is mine, only mine! He rose an insane man in me. So, I sent my guards behind to catch him.” he stood on his woobly legs his eyes shaking with tears running down.
     “But...he jumped in valley. He chose death rather than me. He thought death is easy than to live with me.” he cried in his palms, all ropes keeping him from showing true emotions broke. He fell on knees. Whole surrounding was quite only painful wails heard. “I have locked myself, tortured myself through his memory, his piece of piano, his white flowers, his paintings and have lived my life, just to punish me. I have no will to live. I'll make sure that I rubble myself completely from crave to have him, till my heart dries. Then I'll make sure to die. I despise myself for I didn't let him go. I became selfish and wanted to tether him. If I had let him go, At least he would've been alive. Happy somewhere. This loathe for me, this regret dries my body. I don't think I'll make it. I want to end this pain.” He cried, his voice hoarse from profuse wailing. I felt to put my hand on his shoulder to give him support.
But he stood from floor and held my collar that startled me.
      “Why did you opened the rusty casket of my old memories. Why!?” he shouted on my face. His nose flaring. Before I could speak his eyes laid on the painting on wall behind me. He left my collar giving me air to breathe.

He stumbled yet reached there and held sides of painting, he caressed before leaning and peppering kisses. Mumbling
    “My sweet Jinnie. Please don't hate me. I love you.” He kept whispering it.

My jinnie

My jinnie

My jinnie. He chanted.

Hysterically, he threw the painting against the wall causing it break into  pieces - I was frozen on my feet I didn't dared to move. A sudden thud was heard behind me. Collecting myself I swifty turned around to see sir lying on the floor. Seconds after, Jimin came running with tears rolling down his cheeks as he saw his brother.

Ohh Lord please help him.

***

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