The Lost and Found

Lies and Beliefs

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: Finn Parker

He was standing on my front porch, dressed in a loose black Avenged Sevenfold shirt and jeans. I was basically wearing the same thing except my shirt was Spiderman-themed under a navy blue hoodie.

"I knew you wouldn't turn me down." he smirked as I locked the door.

"Just you wait." I grumbled and then we walked down the street.

Oh, so we're walking all the way to hell tonight?

"So, we'll actually spend the night walking to God knows where?" I asked.

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't you drive?"

"No." he replied, shoving his hands into his pocket. I wondered how he not be freezing that night. It was awfully cold. "I don't drive."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? So if you like to go to the mall or something, you just have to walk?"

"There's this thing called a bus."

"Yeah, but the fare's usually shit."

"No, it's pee." he said and with that stupid reply the conversation ended.

I adjusted the beanie on my head and tucked in my numb hands into the pockets of my hoodie.

As we made our way to wherever he planned to abduct me, I was fuming by the thought of my Mom leaving that godforsaken necklace on the freaking kitchen counter. Out with some friends? Yeah right. As if I would believe that. She attended her mother's fifth wedding at age eighty-seven and didn't even wear the thing. Is she blind? He's never coming back. She's probably going to get wasted at some stupid night club, weeping over the fact that it's her and her husband's mother fucking anniversary.

Yeah, like he would even remember that. I highly doubt he even remembers us at all. That he had a family to love and strive for but he ended up doing nothing for the rest of his damn life since he left. What can I say? He's a a waste if oxygen, cold-hearted, ignorant bastard. And my Mom's out there, fooling herself over and over again. Crying for the man who will never come back, cruel enough to leave us without an explanation let alone a farewell.

"Hey, we're here." Jack's voice snapped me back to reality. He peered closer, as if analyzing my eyes, more specifically my eyes. "Are you alright?" he pressed the back of his hand on my forehead then my neck. "You look pale."

I nodded. "Just perfect. Now, why are we at your house?"

A mischievous smile broke on his face. "You're with me on babysitting tonight."

"Babysitting?" I repeated. "Are you kidding me?"

"What? You've done this before. Why are you acting as if I asked you to run down the street naked?"

I glared at him. "You're an asshole."

"I'm clearly human. Now, come in or you'll freeze to death out here."

I flipped him off. "Screw you, I'm leaving." I stated then began to walk back to my street.

It's so dark.

Oh my God, did the trashcan just moved? It's the end of the world.

Nope, I am definitely not scared.

Before I could even make ten steps away, I was swept off my feet.

"Hey! What are-"

"Hey, I just met you."

I punched his shoulder. "Put me down or I will stab your eye with a stick." I threatened.

"Yeah, I'm scared because that's so possible." he said sarcastically. I wriggled and kicked in his grip. "Stop moving or I'll throw to the ground."

"The ground and I would be happy together."

"No one would ever be happy with you."

Well, doesn't that just lightens up the day?

My chest tightened but I forced it away.

"You jackass." I growled. "Put me down. I'm going home."

"Look, Finn, I didn't mean to-"

"Forget it. I hope you have a wonderful time changing diapers by yourself." I spat, feeling my temper going down. "Put me down."

He put me down and started to argue again. "No, I didn't mean that, Finn." I walked back to my street, ignoring the shit head behind me. "Hey, Finn, will you just hear me out, I promise you-"

"Promises are bullshit." I said, turning to face him. "And so are you."

He looked hurt by my lame comeback but I didn't feel sorry.

I went back on making my way home, his words echoing in my head.

"No one would ever be happy with you..."

I knew that. I already knew that. How could I give someone happiness if I don't even own it to begin with? It sucked for me knowing that I could never make a person enjoy my presence but I accepted it already. He didn't need to point that out.

It was wrong, stupidly, entirely wrong and complete and utter bullshit but I hung onto it. And finding myself way out was like asking fire turn to hotdogs.

That I just had this crazy and dumb idea of making him happy because for the first time, it made me truly happy.

And that sucked but at the same time, I liked it.

Before I knew it, tears were escaping my eyes. I cursed myself angrily. Why would I cry for an asshole like him? I don't care, much more give a shit to him and whatever goes in his life. I don't care. I don't! Not anymore!

"Hey," his breath brushed my ear as two arms encircled my waist. "Please. Don't go. I need you."

"Stop lying. Stop pretending!" I yelled when I looked at him angrily, slapping his hands away. "You don't 'need' me when I couldn't even make anyone happy. Or make you happy for this matter! So stop and just leave me alone. Stop joking around!"

He got ahold of my wrists when I tried to walk away again. "I'm not. And I do need you. Because you make me happy."

He's a confusing idiot.

I shoved him away. "What do you mean I 'make you happy'? Are you stupid? Didn't you hear your words? You said I couldn't-"

"I'm sorry." he said and I felt the sincerity. "I'm sorry that I was an asshole that hurt you and made you cry again. I'm so sorry."

"Your apology doesn't explain all this idiocy of yours."

I felt myself tumbling down, the little amount of self-confidence I had in me going down to my anus, ready for the toilet.

His hand found its way back to my waist as the other one cupped my cheek. He stepped closer that our foreheads were touching.

"I didn't want to believe it. I don't want to believe it because you make me happy and the last time I was, she was gone. And I had so much to lose that I don't want to be happy again." he said, his own tears filling his eyes. But they remained in there. He was holding them back. I don't want him to. I want him to let it go. The pain, the stories that were always so clear behind the depth of his eyes - everything.

I was speechless, my mouth was dry so I just enjoyed his embrace and the feeling of being this close to him.

"You have no idea how you make me happy that it broke me when you started walking away that I thought I'd lose you." he said and I felt everything collapse in me. Including my knees.

"So, I need you, Parker. I need you. And I wouldn't let you go again let alone make you cry. You have no idea how much you mean so much to me."

I swallowed, my heart pounding.

"I like you, Parker and that I stole your chocolate milk when I stayed over your house."