More Than Anything [UNEDITED]

Quinn

I waited for Louise to arrive at the restaurant she said she'd meet me. I looked at my phone. I am twenty minutes early than the time we agreed upon.

She texted me earlier. Ang sabi niya ay malelate siya dahil traffic. Hindi ko raw kasi siya sinundo.

Okay. Why is it my fault now?

To be honest, I don't know what I am feeling right now. When I was with Margaux a while ago, wala akong ibang maisip kung hindi kung gaano ako kasaya na nangyari ito because finally, all the walls that hinder my relationship with her are gone.

Pero ngayong mag-isa na ako, habang naiisip ko lahat ng sinabi ni Margaux, hindi ko mapigilang malungkot. I thought Louise was happy with me. But she wasn't. Well, she wouldn't look for another man if she was contented with me.

I know the feeling of cheating. It is not good.

Noong kami ni Margaux five years ago, para akong lumulubog sa malalim na balon habang kahalikan ko si Louise. Para akong lumalapit sa bitag na alam kong hindi ko malalagpasan.

Never had I thought that Louise would cheat on me. Damn, hindi ko alam kung magsisisi ba akong kinasama ko siya o hindi.

My phone lit up. It was Margaux.

From: Margaux

Are you alright?

I bit my lip and tried to hide the smile that's about to flash from me.

To: Margaux

Yes. Louise isn't here yet, though. Have you eaten?

I took a deep breath. Damn. Ganito ba ang pakiramdam ng malaya ko na siyang mamahalin? Para akong lumulutang sa ulap.

My phone pinged.

From: Margaux

I just ate breakfast, Quinn. Don't make me a pig.

I chuckled at her response. It's only been forty-five minutes since we parted and yet I'm asking her if she had eaten again.

To: Margaux

Just want you full and satisfied, honey.

I sighed and typed another message.

To: Margaux

Hurry up. Can we have lunch later?

Tumunog ang pintuan ng restaurant at nakita kong pumasok si Louise. Agad kong itinago ang cellphone ko. Luminga-linga siya hanggang sa ngumiti siya noong nakita ako.

She walked to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before sitting in front of me. "Did you wait long?" she asked.

I shook my head and handed her the menu.

She looked at me. "You haven't ordered?" she asked curiously.

She must be confused because I normally order for her first whenever I am waiting for her. Ngayon lang hindi. I have to prove a point.

I watched her as she looked into the menu. Inalala ko ang sinabi ni Margaux. I can't be harsh on her because she's pregnant. She doesn't need stress. Ang gusto pa nga ata ni Margaux ay huwag ko muna siyang kausapin ngayon dahil baka makaapekto ito sa pagbubuntis niya.

But I can't. If I don't do it now, my plans are going to be postponed. I don't want any more postponement. Matagal ko nang gustong pakasalan si Margaux.

This is long overdue.

"Are you not going to order?" Louise asked me.

I smiled and shook my head.