HIDEOUT: LEE TAEYONG

49

doyoung

i saw him, standing by the window while blankly staring at the starry night, no movements, no sounds, nothing at all but still as a statue. i know he had a lot inside his mind right now, after that scene during the game clearly. frankly, i would feel the same.

"don't you think you need some sleep, after having a tough day?" i approached, standing by him and unsurely joining the privacy i was probably invading right now.

i had to talk with him, he misunderstood the whole situation.

"you don't say." taeyong spoke in annoyance, how his eyes rolled sidewards after feeling kim doyoung's presence, feeling my presence. he rotated his whole body a bit further away to be able to get rid off the sight of me, that didn't hurt at all, i was used to it and so was he towards me.

"so, are you really letting soyoung patrol tonight with that girl?" both of our eyes gazed out of the window, down to the two girls walking three meters away from each other with flashlights around their hands. i couldn't explain how i already felt annoyed for soyoung, for being with that disgusting human somin. how is she handling all of this? keeping all the anger in herself, sometimes i think she is too polite... i've always wanted to see her slap somin but i knew she wasn't that type, she's very warm-hearted and nice.

"i'm scared." two unexpected words came out from taeyong's mouth.

lee taeyong, known for being fearless and courageous but right now speaking out the words "i'm scared". he nevers say that, he only says it if he truly means it and it worried me slightly.

"of what?" i asked, sounding all supportive towards him which didn't match me at all.

"soyoung... she tried to convince that nothing really happened, but i didn't trust her and... she's thinking that our love for each other is just an infatuation and i'm scared." then he turned around and looked at me with those sorrowful eyes that were rarely seen, the last time i saw those were the day her mother passed away, the day he stood in front of her coffin. seeing them again, it shows how he really feels the pain inside him and i honestly don't like watching him like this. i would rather see him get mad at me, get angry, get pissed, get infuriated with full on range and tantrum than this... weak and sad.

i've seen taeyong grow up, he's been cold in the outside but meanwhile deep inside he's a precious sweetheart with happiness. i've always liked that.

then his mother passed away, that sadness he showed was too much for me to handle i couldn't bear it and it affected me severely as well that i don't want to experience it no longer.

right now, i was positive i'll feel weak seeing him depressed and i'm here to hopefully change that.

"i believe that the love i have for her is real, but after what she said i'm starting to believe that all of this is just a deep lust." he said.

"don't say that," i paused. "i know it's a bit late for this to say, but i assure you nothing happened between me and soyoung. i wasn't aware of the relationship you had, i frankly thought i had a chance with her but obviously not when you're existing." i earned a small chuckle from taeyong, probably agreeing to the truth which he found funny.

"i know you taeyong very well." his eyes gazed attentively at me. "if you're whether in a relationship or liking someone, i know it's serious because it's very infrequent and rare to see you like this and i know you take things like these seriously so don't say that all of this for soyoung is just infatuation... remember the reason why you like her, remember how you admired the way she didn't give up to save your life." i felt relieved seeing how my words were slowly making him perceive the fact that this was no infatuation. frankly, i am surprised he's even listening to what i am saying, he would usually throw me a "i don't care", maybe since this is about soyoung he will be attentive towards me for once.

"so why don't you go and...." i looked out of the window, pointing at the two young girls patrolling outside with a cranky attitude. "and save soyoung from somin, i bet she really despise being with her right now." taeyong expectedly obliged what i said, he quickly started his pace but stopped and turned around.

"thank you..." he said genuinely, sincerely which made me automatically smile. "you're welcome."

as he disappeared out of my sight, i directly looked back at soyoung who was also gradually fading away from my vision since they've walked further away.

what a fool of me, i can't stop thinking about how disgusted soyoung probably was when i tried to kiss her. i frankly always say that i don't regret any of my decisions or choices in life, but this one i must agree that it was an ugly decision i've made.

i'll admit it, i really liked soyoung.

when she first got here, i was impressed by how she wasn't like somin or dahye and it's where i thought "this is my chance, i should give it a shot". of course i had to, she seemed so strong and independent... perfect for me, but for her, she was perfect for taeyong.

and only taeyong.