Desolate Throne [ClefDraki]

25. [A Liar Finds The Truth]

[Song Above: Interlude IV (Showtime) by Zach Callison]

Back in the past...

He opened his eyes to find a vaguely familiar scene. I'm dreaming. He couldn't remember what this place was, why it was important. His mind had been scrambled to keep him sane. He'd done that himself... didn't he?

It was raining. Thunder rolled across sable colored clouds, the downpour heavy. A building loomed ahead, it struck fear into every fiber of his being.

He hadn't felt fear like this in a long time. Or ever. He couldn't tell. He felt different. He didn't feel like Alto Clef, he felt like someone else. Or some version of himself.

His shadow spoke from beside him, staring eerily up at a particular window. "This is a memory, Alto. You've buried it so far in the back of your mind that you convinced yourself it never existed."

"You're lying." He growled at his reflection.

"Am I? I'm not exactly the one who buried this and replaced it with a fantasy."

"What do you mean?"

"That stupid story you tell yourself? I was lost in the woods and I ran into a goddess! Oh, please. Get over yourself. It might be a reality in some other universe but no, not here."

"Why'd you show me it then? If it didn't happen?"

"I needed to find the perfect moment."

"Terrible timing. What did happen then? What about Epon?"

"I can't tell you this. You have to feel for it."

And just like that, Shadow-Clef had disappeared. Leaving Alto stranded in the deepest part of his head.

He sighed and reached far out. Shuffling about in his mind for information that wasn't there. Or shouldn't be.

It felt like an epoch before his fingers danced across a pocket of information that filled his head with darkness, horror, and guilt.

Among all the clutter that flooded his senses and filled him with pain, a name for this bundle of vomit-inducing horror traced itself at the edges of his being.

Montauk House.

He picked hesitantly at the memories, trying to decipher the things he saw. He sees himself crying his heart out into a telephone. He sees himself having a screaming match with a blonde woman with a dangerous brown gaze.

He understood that he was in a relationship with this woman but he found that where he looked for love, he only found fear.

His eyes widened. She hurt him. Over and over and over. She used him. She made him do things he didn't want to do. He suddenly felt violated and amazed that he could hold this information away from himself.

Then a new burst of knowledge flooded his head. He had lied. Not only to Kondraki and his friends but to himself. He had been a reality bender and for whatever reason, he had warped himself into a reality anchor.

He was running away from this dark side. This was the reason he went after reality benders in his time working for the GOC. This was the reason he hated reality benders. This was the reason he found it so difficult to love and be loved.

But he was finally at peace. He had found someone who loved him and would never make him do anything he didn't want to do.

A memory bubbled up, his beloved daughter. He remembered with a sudden sense of protective fury over how this woman had named his daughter. He had changed her name as soon as the woman left his life. He had taken Epon to a convent where she would never experience the same pain that he'd gone through.

Now he realized this night. Inside the house, right through the window, this woman was touching him and he was silently begging to whatever god he betrayed to make him feel something. Anything. Just so she wouldn't hurt him.

He began to cry, dropping to his knees in the mud. He had kept all this information bottled in a false reality where he'd met an innocent goddess and killed her. When the truth was that he had been traumatized and killed this no-name woman.

For the life of him, he could not figure out her name. It was some nickname, nice and frilly. Her true name was dark as night and filled with demonic authority.

Dammit, Alto, think!

L... L- Lily? Li- Lilith? That's it. Lilith.

...

Oh.

...

Oh no.

He slammed into the waking world, his heart beating a million miles an hour. He was covered in cold sweat, crying heavily. He held his hands to his face, tangling his fingers in his hair.

He looked over. Kondraki was sound asleep, arms and legs splayed out. He found himself smiling softly.

He shifted closer to the brunette, curling into a tiny ball at his side. He cried into his knees and held onto himself for dear life.

A single thought crept through the clutter of his mind.

I really am a liar.