The Nerdy Girl [COMPLETED]

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*sigh*

A lot happened in my life when I changed myself. I just want a simple life but why does it feel, it doesn't want me, it feels like it's not fit on me.

I always ask myself if am I really worth to live in this world, but I always end up thinking that maybe my life has a reason, that everything happened to me has a reason. That maybe there's a lesson, I don't know. I can't even know the answers.

I lost hope in living when I lost almost everything, that time, I want to give up, I want to end everything, but there's a voice in my head saying I should live more, that I can't lose everything, everything that happened has a reason.

I already accepted the fact that I'm now all alone but there's Xander and his friends. I can't leave them alone.

Now that I already know everything, I should face it, it's my responsibility before I was born. It's my obligation.

I finished packed my things, I went to the window and looked out. I sighed then close my eyes, and suddenly all that happened to me just flashed to my mind. I remember all those, everything!

I just don't want to feel the same feeling anymore. I want to end the pain and there is one thing that can end up my pain. Maybe I should try, nothing will be lost.

"Trysh, are you ready?"

"What do you think?"

"Let's go, we can't be late for our flight!"

"Oh yeah, I'm coming."

We went down and out of the house. One more and last glance to this place. There's a lot of memories here, oh yeah a bad memories.

I'm holding the box when I hopped to the van. It's really hard to accept the truth. But it's okay, I will be fine soon.

"Smile Trysh. You're scary! Show me your smile,"

"Stop it."

"You should smile when you see them. They will be happy if they find you happy."

"Xander. I'm happy okay!"

'you really changed'

I closed my eyes, I'm trying to have a nap.

One thing I learned. Being a simple girl is not good as what I think, living in this modern world is the hardest thing. There's a judgemental everywhere, just one wrong or right move, someone will judge you, even if you're bad nor good, there's no excemption. People nowadays are like that.

Why am I still bringing up the past. It's already done, I should think of the present and the future. Of what will happen now and tomorrow.

Nerd life is better than regular life..

That's insane. There's no regular life. The world is cruel and mysterious.

It is better 'TO BE OR NOT TO BE'