Midas' Destiny (Original Version)

The Showdown You Have Been Waiting For

A/N: Okay so this is the first and only chapter I'm writing in Deadpool's POV and I asked a friend, who is really good at rping as Deadpool, how to best approach this and he told me to light a birthday candle with a fusion powered flame thrower. And since I can't have my man cursing a lot, I'll just spam fourth wall breaks. Enjoy.

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『And I'm done holding back

So look out, clear the track

It's my turn!
I'm taking what's mine!

Every drop, every smidge
If I'm burning a bridge
Let it burn

But I'm crossing the line!
And for us, if we're over
That's fine
I'm crossing the line 』

- Crossing the Line, Tangled: The Series

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"Oh, hi there. So you're probably wondering whose balls I had to tickle this time to be in this universe, aren't you? Well, this time it wasn't me who licked the balls, but someone licked mine and let me tell you this, I had an absolute blast. Literally. Anyways, I was originally hired to kill a certain Mr D, but let me tell you, that man is one thick boy. And by thick, I mean ridiculously buff, but I guess that's just in the DNA of every Fortnite skin except Cable, because, man, that dude is a whole new level of swole. The rest of them are either thick, buff or hot, and that man, this Mr D,is all of them! And he has a bloody llama tattoo on his head, at least that's what I saw before he put his mask on so there was definitely no chance for me to tell any of you who this guy is. So Mr.-Not-Drift shot a few holes into my good suit and so I decided to call the mission the moment I saw this hot modernized pirate ship. After all, I'm Wade mothertrucking Wilson, the one and only, so I took this groovy bachelor pad over with a bunch of no-name idiots that needed a part-time job. I'm honestly only used to push the plot into this entire armageddon arc which will lead to some deaths, but Liz, honey, don't worry, your babes will be fine once they find that fleece thing. Maybe. In the end. Well anyways, so I came here, deserving some fun, and decided to throw the hottest party ever and notice how you haven't heard a lot from Marshmello or that Travis Scott guy since I announced this party?
Okay, yes, Marshmello was hired as DJ, but that wimp is nothing compared to my greatness. I was about to send out an invitation to all the crossover skins, but inviting Thanos and not-so-purple-Thanos', Cable, turned out to be very difficult, so I blew it off for the time being and decided to look for any treasure chests on this beauty. Luckily for me, the author of this book has made the character who guarded this place leave a keycard to this big, fancy vault, and then I found her... the love of my life. I don't know her name, so I just call her Sebastian and I decided to turn the party into a wedding. Well, anyways, so I have a feeling that I will definitely die at the end of this chapter and I can't wait to see the other love my... well death. I wonder if Thanos is chilling with her. We'll see. Now let's hop into this chapter, shall we? If this was some movie, now would be the perfectt ime to cue the harp music and transition with glitter, the camera slowly pulling away from my face and onto the Error 404, my ship, where I would be dancing with my girl, encouraging myself to move those pretty hips of mine. Yep. Let's just imagine this transition is happening."

"Mr Pool, who are you talking to?" One of the no-names, Deadpool had hired stood behind him. He liked to call most of these guys either Bob or Steffen. As the wedding would take place in just two hours, DP was getting ready for it, dancing with Sebastian.
"Doesn't matter, darling, what is it?"
"Your... wedding. It seems like it has to be postponed. Look!"
"Holy lord, the buff cat! I've been waiting to meet him!", Deadpool shrieked, running to the back of the Error 404. From far, Deadpool could see a motorboat approaching. "Mothertrucker, dude, he's here to ruin my wedding!" The suited hottie waited for the motorboat to come to a stand, before the catman jumped out.
"I assume you own this place, because until this moment I was convinced that it must've been a dwarf warrior riding on his kitty to defeat an army of teddy bears or some crap. Ridiculous, right? I mean, you are a huge... cat."
"Shut your cakehole and listen."
"Ah, yes, keep talking, your voice is a huge turn-on, my dude." That clearly left the kitty confused.
"We are giving you two hours to clear the Marigold, take that crap off the walls and get out of here or else..."
"Or else what? Your boss is coming? Please, that guy is a dweeb, I can take him, the worst thing that can happen is if he hugged me and I got a paper cut from his thin ass booty. He's lucky that he's so hot, which once again proves my theory. Besides, I came all the way from the United States of Assmerica to be treated like this? I took this ship over and now it's mine. Your loss, my guy."
Meowscles glared at him. "Fine. We'll be back." And with that, he hopped back into the boat and drove away.
"What a cute little man. Such a shame that the author failed to tell everyone that his human side is the first dude that got turned into gold by the big bad boss, but who am I to judge?" Shrugging, he went back inside and up to Lady Deadpool. "Okay, babe, where did we leave off?"

"Hey, can I play narrator for a moment? So, Sebastian and I had a hot time during the last two hours, but now there are three helicopters pulling up. In each are plenty of douchebags, but no sight of the big boss. He'll probably superhero land behind me when everything else fails to take me down."
Deadpool was now sitting in the crow's nest, pretending to be a pirate, Lady Deadpool sitting on a wheelchair on deck.. "Arr, mateys, Captain Deadpool has spotted a bunch of suicidal fools. Hoist my wet pants and ready the cannons!"
"Sir, the cannons are only props to scare enemies off."
"Steffen, nein!"
"Sir, what do you suggest we do next?"
"Holy balls of Wolverine, I'll do it myself. Steffen, let's get naked." Deadpool jumped off the crow's nest and pulled his katanas out.
"I would very much like to keep my clothing on, sir."
"Fine, kid. Let's get this bread. Lady Deadpool, honey, you watch how I'll take 'em out, won't ya?"
Deadpool ran on deck and waited for the helicopters to be close enough to the ground for him to shout up to them.
"Welcome to the wedding!"
"Deadpool, you have been warned! Leave the Mariegold or we will start firing at you", unimportant helicopter pilot number 3 yelled through his loud speakers.
"Hey, hold up, let me get an impression of all the people I'm about to brutally slaughter. We got the wannabe-adventurer, a buff cat, a sad young woman that is still not over her ex boyfriend, a thick boy, a useless boomer lady, some girl with pink hair, a damn bush, and fake-Catwoman. Oh, and the thick banana! Hey, when I ordered a banana milkshake, I didn't want it to be raw! Can I still get a taste of that ass of yours or do I first have to come up there and peel you?"
The potassium bitch's face was priceless at that comment, as he mouthed something that looked like "How rude!", and without any proper answers, they started firing at Deadpool, who pirouetted on deck, dodging most of the bullets.
Eventually, fire ceased and Deadpool could hear a loud bang, as Mr Big Boss Midas landed behind him.
"What an exquisite superhero landing! Your team does have to practice the whole aiming thing though, I barely got hit but, man, t hat hurt like a butt cheek on a stick and I certainly know howthat feels!", Deadpool said.
"You. I should kill you for betraying me." What a scary dude. Kind of laughable to DP.
"Ah, so you are the one who hired me. Sorry about that. This Mr D guy ist just too cool for me to kill him. I also doing buisness for someone who doesn't show his face. Now, are you here to actually kill me, which by the way won't work out thanks to some jealous purple raisin, or are you here to celebrate a wedding?"
"Where is Marie?" Midas did look kind of intimidating but a little punch in his pretty face would probably change that.
"Who the hell is Mar- oh you mean the bride? That's her name? Sebastian sounds much better."
"Where is she?"
Deadpool pointed to the crow's nest and Midas turned around. "Is she your wife? Pretty hardcore if you ask me."
"She is my sister. And you will pay now."
Midas turned around to face his enemy and punched Deadpool in the face, resulting into DP turning to gold.

"Well yes, technically I shouldn't be aware of what happened after but I know everything. Except that I didn't know that this Midas guy had the golden touch... bad Deadpool. I should've paid more attention to that one Percy Jackson nerd in middle school... So anyways, they put me into a giant box, chained it up and threw it into the sea. It'll be one hell of a challenge to get outta here once my regeneration kicks in, but I'll obviously make it. Until then... I have a date with my other flame, Lady Death. I hope, Thanos isn't home."