There are things that will happen that will make you feel powerless and make you feel insignificant but that's it they're just feelings and sometimes you have to stop feeling and start doing.
****
Jessica had accepted the way her life was, challenge...
I knew she'd ask me. Eventually, I was hoping it would be tomorrow. Because right now, all I want to do is pull her back to me and have her fall asleep in my arms.
But if I change the subject now, she'll push and get standoffish. That's the last thing I want. She has finally said I love you, not I know, or her lightly smiling then kissing me after I have told it to her.
"I love you."
The way the words came off of her full lips, her forehead against mine, her cheeks slightly flushed as I moved slowly in and out of her.
How do I explain this to her without her running from me? How do I say Jess, I had nightmares about you before I even knew you, that I had you investigated to find you, that I learned about your abortion before you ever told me, and that when we met, it wasn't by chance but was all a set up that your best friend helped me with?
I have always said honesty is the best way to approach things, but is it really? If it costs me the person I love? It's just a little white lie. Doesn't everyone do that from time to time?
"Hero?" Her voice pulls me from my thoughts
"Yeah, baby," I blink, trying to get rid of the blank expression I know is all over my face as I focus back on her.
"Can we talk about it?"
****
two months ago
"Am I really going to do this?" I put the car in park, moving the folder from the passenger seat and looking through it again.
NAME: JESSICA LYNN CLARKE DOB : 03/16/95 HEIGHT 5'3 EYE COLOR GREEN ADDRESS: 013 JAYMES AVE, MALIBU, CA 90263
I close the folder sighing, and looking out the window at the house to my left.
What are you doing, Hero? This is crazy! They're just fucking dreams."
Gripping the steering wheel, I can't believe I have taken it this far for someone I don't even know, but if they were just dreams?
Why do I always wake up in a cold sweat? Why does my heart ache? Whenever I wake up from seeing the light leave her eyes. The eyes I literally get lost in every time she's looking up at me, pleading for me to help her.
I throw the folder in the back, getting out of the car, checking the street before crossing into the driveway.
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I stick my hands in my pockets, watching my feet take step after step. Before reaching the front door, I reach out, my hand shaking as I ring the doorbell.
