✓the three words • kim seungmin

f o u r

edited 22aug21

• chapter 4: bittersweet

The next day, it was my turn. I took part of badminton and honestly it was tiring. After almost an hour for playing non-stop, I finally got the chance for breathing properly.

One of my friends from the yellow house, Heejin, gave me an isotonic drink and sits beside me. Her legs crossed onto one another before laying on the grass.

"Today is tiring." she sighed.

I hummed before gulping down the water. The cold liquid flowed down my throat, refreshing myself.

Heejin laughed a bit as she watched me close my eyes dramatically, acting like I'm in a cf or something. She hit my elbow playfully.

"You look cool while playing just now."

"Yeah. I got third place." It's really annoying when the refferee is biased. And it's not unusual anymore. I wish I could curse at the refferees for being such good role models.

"You still look cool." Heejin said, getting up. "Look at you, wearing this white headband." she giggled.

I rolled my eyes and put down my drink. "It's my lucky charm."

The girl next to me picked up a shuttlecock and bounced it on her hand as we stared at the games that's still going on. There were not much, just archery and badminton. Some of the students were loafing around while the others were cheering for their teammates. It's a peaceful noise; not the annoying one.

"I once tried playing badminton with my sister," Heejin started, still bouncing the shuttlecock on her hand. It sometimes fall but she picked it up and did the same thing all over again. "In our bedroom. No rackets, just hands."

"Believe me, I play like that once too."

She nodded with a grin, "It hurts. But what entertained me was when I hit her right on her nose like this." she threw the shuttlecock up and when it went down to her she slammed it to the front with full power, making it flies a few metres in front of us.

But then it hit a guy who's sitting with a girl on the head. We both gasped.

"Heejin, you did not-"

"Oops, it's Seungmin." she ran.

Mentally cursing her, I quickly got up from my place and walked up to him. I could feel my legs were shaking the moment I approached him but please, dear legs, don't give up on me yet.

Seungmin looked around to find the person who did that. For sure if I appear now he would think it was me - and I'm literally in front of him now.

I tried to remain calm since he's with the senior, Minha. But I guess my voice betraysed me. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Oh, Heejin didn't mean to what I meant. "Does it hurt?"

My voice came out smaller than I intended to. Maybe because what Kim Seungmin had done to me. That's it, nothing. Just by doing nothing, he could make my legs turn into jelly, my voice turned similar to an ant.

"Not really," he finally replied, flashing me a smile. Wait, a smile? Is he smiling at me? For real? I know I'm a bit exaggerating now but I thought he would never look at me after the failed confession. However I just sighed in relief, hoping he won't get mad.

"I'm glad." I said, returning the smile. I'm doing a good job here, right?

"Here," he stretched his arm out to give me the shuttlecock. "Next time be careful."

O.o

Asdddhjkl I think I'm malfunctioning. Yes, just four simple words but- it's Seungmin.

Hyemi, you're extra exaggerating right now.

I took the shuttlecock from him with my slightly trembling hand. "Alright, thanks. And sorry, again." Can I keep this conversation going? But with the senior in watching us making it awkward. I don't think I can.

"It's fine." he simply replied and turned to the senior again. Oh.

Of course that's it.

My smile faltered as I'm still standing behind him. My gaze switched to the senior and she sent me a quick confused glance. Smiling softly to her, I turned and walked away.

What am I thinking? Seungmin already rejected me and here I am, still hoping.

Maybe what Mia told me is not helping. It's still a failure for me. I mean, I've been liking him for almost two years now only to get rejected.

Sometimes this unpopular thought disturbs me. Why does a boy can get what he wants but a girl can't get what she wants? I often sees in drama or the novels I've read where most of the guys would do anything to get the girls they want and they succeed. But when it comes to girls, they couldn't do anything other than watching the guys having fun with the girls of their dreams. You get what I mean? Is it just in drama or reality? Because if it's the reality, I guess I'm one of them.

How dumb.

After the tiring day I returned home early than the usual, wanting to rest my poor body. But as I walked in, a voice stops my way.

"We are going to another business trip, you can take care of your brothers right?" my mom asked.

Again?

I solemnly nodded and proceeded to go to my bedroom. Without wasting any time I undid my sports outfit and soon after I found myself in the bathtub, chilling myself.

Again, they are going to a business trip for how long who knows. Look, I'm already dumb and after the summer break it would be my last year at the high school so I need to do my best. Also, my parents literally nag at me for not getting the grades they are expecting.

Hey, at least I'm trying. I'm not lying when I said I study to achieve what they want.

But business trips? That's the problem. Having a twin brothers who are still five years old to babysit means I have to sacrifice my study time.

Is being the eldest is always this hard? I have to do everything and the next thing I know, my parents despise me for being the worst student in my class.

This is exhausting. I don't usually think this is a burden but when I think it is, it will come out longer than I intended to. For some reason I hate it being here, but my twin brothers are always there to cheer me up.

My parents? I don't think so. All they ask for me to do is study.

I still can remember how much they were against my dream to go into a sport school. They brought up my poor results back then in the middle school and I cried for the whole night. Did they really have to do that?

They even compared my results with my friends.

But can't they see that I'm improving? I got in the same class as Seungmin. I mean, that guy is super smart and I didn't believe myself either at the first place when I found out I was gonna be in the same class as him.

I guess they don't see that as an achievement.

Sighing, I slide down more into the bathtub, making her water is at my chin level. I close my eyes, throwing all the negative thoughts away.

This is just for awhile, right?

🥀