The Orion Star

Lies

**CONTENT WARNING/TRIGGER WARNING** Non-graphic sex scene. Alcoholism, depression. Reader discretion is advised.

Confessing this is intimidating

These words will never see the light of day

Don't try to sleep through the fear

This is so invigorating

I cannot keep these feelings away

My eyes cannot stop their peer

Into your beautiful soul

I swear to you that I'm yours

These words hold everything

My love for you ignited like coal

I look but everything blurs

If you left it would do nothing but sting

These are the ruminations of the heart

Yeah, these are the ruminations of the heart

--From the song Ruminations Of The Heart

Lyrics by Orion Bauwens

After I confirmed like, a billion times that, yes, the young woman they picked up was for sure my stalker and yes, she was in custody and would be far, far away from me, I grabbed the first flight back to Vermont I could manage. I was absolutely, positively ecstatic. You'd think I wasn't who I was and I'd just won the lottery.

I could not wait to get home. I could not wait to sleep in my own bed. I could not wait to see Jake and Ben.

But most of all? I could not wait for Tristan.

I invited him over. He had decided to go back to Texas until all this blew over. So when he shows up on my doorstep, freshly tanned and looking refreshed, I can't help myself. I throw myself into his arms and kiss him. Nosy neighbors and any paparazzi that might be hanging around be damned-I need to kiss my boyfriend.

Once that's done we retreat to my room. I'm unpacking as Tristan lays on the bed, listening to me as I talk.

"So then what happened?"

"Well," I say, gingerly putting my baby onto its stand, "we got into a bit of a squabble. She was happy that they caught my stalker, but she was still upset that I offered for her to join the band and then took it back."

"She has to understand that it's a really bad idea," Tristan said gently.

I scoff a bit and shake my head. "I forgot how hard it is to be that young..."

Tristan raises a questioning eyebrow. I stop my unpacking and come over to him, sitting.

"Just-you think you're so old," I say. "You think you have the world figured out. You think you don't need anyone telling you what to do. But the reality is-no. You're still just a fucking kid."

There was a long pause, and then he spoke carefully. "I think a lot of it has to do with life experiences as well. Maturity doesn't necessarily have to be tied to age."

Intrigued, I stare at him.

"I mean, back when I was sixteen I thought I knew everything."

I can't help but laugh. "'Back when you were sixteen'? Tristan, that was two years ago for you, buddy."

He chose to ignore my comment. "Then some stuff happened, and now I feel like I do know everything. Some people just have old souls, yaknow? They're either born with it, or something happens and ages them."