The Orion Star

Willing Mistakes

**TRIGGER WARNING** Full-on relapse of alcoholism and bulimia happens in this chapter. Self-deprecating thoughts due to depression are made throughout. Reader discretion is advised.

Aren't I what you expected?

We've been here before

Don't you recognize this luscious decor?

Don't act so surprised

I've got a reputation to uphold

--From the song A Lot Of People Tell Me I Have A Fake Soul

Lyrics by Orion Bauwens

Gloria tugs me down into a tight hug (I'm a good head taller than her). For a moment we just stand there, Gloria hugging me outside of the city library, gently swaying. When she lets me go she wipes tears out of her eyes.

"This is scary," she tells me, handing me my overstuffed black backpack and my two babies.

"Yeah."

"Where're you going to go?"

"Uh, I'm not sure yet, nothing is concrete. I've been running around since it happened. I'm gonna see if my mom is willing to put me up while the cops investigate this."

Of course I feel absolutely guilty over that.

"If that doesn't work then I d'no. Maybe a hotel or something."

"You could stay with me," she offers.

"No."

"What? Why not?"

I shake my head. "Absolutely not."

"Orion, I would be more than happy to put you up--"

"No! I am not going to risk it, Gloria!"

"You're a pain in the ass." She pulls me into another hug. "I hate you and love you all at once."

I'd hug her back but I'm holding a guitar in each hand. "I know."

She releases me. "Text me as soon as you figure out where you're going."

"I will."

"And call me as soon as you're safe and sound there, wherever there is."

I grin. "I will."

She begins to walk away.

"Thanks Gloria, for the stuff!"

She turns around and points at me. "I didn't pull strings to get you into a fucking rehab facility quickly just to have a stalker kill you, understand me?"

I laugh. "I know."

"Take care, kiddo."

Suddenly I'm overcome with emotion. I shove the instruments into Tristan's hands and take off running after Gloria. I barrel into her, wrapping my arms around her so we both don't topple over.

She squeals in surprise and then laughs. I bury my face into her natural black hair and give her a kiss. She pats my arms, still laughing.

"Thank you," I whisper into her ear, kissing her head again. "For everything."

She turns around and gives me a proper hug. "Please take care Orion, okay?"

"I will. I promise."

She holds me at arm's length. "For me?"

I smile. "For you."

~

My mother didn't even hesitate when I called and asked if I could stay there for awhile. I had offered for Tristan to come with, but he didn't want to impose. I tried to twist his arm but he wouldn't let me.