BTS Sickfics

Jimin's Asthma (Pt 2)

request by zainab_2828 :)

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Jimin's POV -

It's been a year since my last asthma attack. The day I forgot my inhaler. It's been one hell of a year. We found the culprit who leaked our album, so we had a big court case to get them sued. We all won money out the case, though that's not really what we wanted. There was no way to recover the files. They'd already been listened to. So, instead, we released them for charity. Sure, there were plenty of free download files online, but ARMY have been good, and bought the album just so their money would go to charity.

The new album was a massive success, and we're in the last leg of our tour to complete it, in Europe. It was supposed to finish in France, but we've come back to the UK to do one last massive concert, which will also be streamed online. I have to say, I'm really excited.

There has been a slight problem, though. Before my asthma attack, my asthma didn't bother me too much. It was always there, obviously, and I needed my inhaler often, but I never got close to an attack. When it came to the end before the album drops, it always got worse, almost to a worrying point, but I was always on top of it, at least. Now, after that massive attack happened, my asthma flares up much more aggressively, and much more often. I've been to a doctor, and they said it's because the lining of my airway is still recovering, so I've been given a stronger inhaler for worse attacks. It's purple, instead of blue.

I take both around with me everywhere I go, but I've only used the purple one a handful of times. It's strong, which makes my mouth taste bad, but it clears me up immediately. I use it when I'm on the brink of an attack, when my blue one isn't working. I use the blue one all other times, and, when it's minor, works just fine, but as soon as my wheezing becomes audible to people across the room, I know it's not doing its job. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be coming off the purple one.

I also have a brown one, which I have to take every morning. I don't carry it around with me, unless I know I'm staying overnight somewhere. Obviously, it's come on tour with me. It's supposed to help stop asthma symptoms reacting to the triggers throughout the day, and is a long term medication, but so far, it's doing fuck all, to be honest. I'm having just as many symptoms as I have been after the initial attack.

Because of how much worse it's gotten, I've had to let the fans know when on tour. There is no way I could make it through a concert now without my inhaler. Thankfully, I haven't needed to use the purple one on stage yet, but, with how close it's been getting, I know it will happen. Maybe not this tour, but definitely the next one, if my symptoms don't calm down by then.

I can't leave a single room without one of the boys calling, "Inhaler?" after me. They definitely haven't forgotten that day. I haven't, either. The feeling of being unable to breathe, feeling like I'm going to die in Seokjin's arms haunts my dreams many nights. There is no way I would go anywhere without them in my pocket, but I appreciate the kindness of the boys trying to help me.

I have a whole draw full of inhaler replacements, since I go through them so quickly. There's something I haven't told the boys, though: I didn't bring enough on tour with me. I didn't realise just how quickly I would get through them. It never occurs to me how light it feels until there's no medicine entering my lungs, and I'm left struggling through my bag looking for a replacement. If I truly needed to, I could use the purple one, but using it constantly for mild symptoms makes me feel all dizzy and spacey. The boys don't really understand that, so I haven't told them I have to try and suffer through it.

*

Tonight is the night of the special concert, and we've just headed to the stadium to work through the sound check. Usually, there are fans still watching, as they bought VIP tickets, but, since this is a special concert that's going to be streamed online, we decided it would be better if we were alone for the sound check. I'm going to use this time, away from fans, to see how far I can get with mild symptoms before I need to use the purple one, and just how often that will be. We don't put a lot of effort into the sound check, since it's more about singing than dancing, but I'm going to give it my best shot.