BTS Sickfics

Namjoon's Heart Block

request by anonymous and Missykosmos :)

Namjoon's POV -

When I was born, I was born with a heart condition known as a Congenital Heart Block. Essentially, my heart beats out of rhythm, caused by a problem in the electricity that controls my heart. They knew I had it in the womb, right before my mother gave birth to me, as my heart was beating abnormally. They thought I was going to die after birth, or need some sort of life saving surgery, but I seemed just fine.

They were worried about it, and started doing lots of tests as soon as I was out. My mum told me how sad she was, because she thought she was never going to be able to hold me, but I was brought back a couple of hours later, in an incubator. It meant that she still couldn't hold me, but she could put her hands through, and give me a stroke.

I was diagnosed with a mild heart block, and my parents were told to keep a high alert on any symptoms. They said that, if I showed any symptoms, I had to come back for another review, and then they'd decide if I needed a pacemaker or not. Nowadays, it's known as a first-degree heart block.

I started showing symptoms when I was teenager, when I was in my PE class. We were playing baseball, and I was running for a homerun. One second, I felt pretty good, and then the next, I was on the ground, and the PE teacher wouldn't stop shaking me. He said I'd fainted, and that I should go to hospital, since all the teachers knew about my heart condition.

On days where I didn't get a lot of sleep, I went through my days feeling very light-headed and dizzy, though I had no more fainting episodes.

I was at an age where I felt really awkward, and didn't want to open up about what had happened to me at school to my family. So I didn't tell them, and I didn't say anything about my dizziness, either. My teacher had assumed I was old enough to care for myself, so he didn't report it. Health and Safety report forms weren't really popular when I was in school.

Maybe I would have saved myself a few more issues later on in life if I had just been honest, but I was a hormonal teenager, who didn't want to admit something was wrong with me. I wasn't all too sure if it was down to my heart or not, anyway.

When I joined BigHit, I had to be honest, since I wasn't sure if I had to be an idol or not. They said I probably wouldn't have to dance. I believed them.

Until Hoseok showed up.

As soon as I saw his skills, and his lack of singing or rapping skills, I knew what I had gotten myself into. I kept thinking about dropping out, and just focusing on some other music program, but I had already created a strong bond with Yoongi. He knew about my heart problem, but he said I could overcome it, and be an inspiration to other people with the same problem as me.

We wrote songs together, as more people joined our dorm. Then, a dance was made to our lead song, and I had to join in, too.

I didn't have a lead in the choreo, so I didn't feel too bad. However, as dance practice became longer, and more rigorous, I had my second fainting episode. Again, I refused to go to the doctor, and it was decided I would just have to take dance practice slow.

Nowadays, concerts are really hard to keep up with, as my symptoms have slowly gotten worse, but I keep myself going with oxygen, and having more breaks in concerts for me to calm down. I've been to a doctor now, and they've said that, although I'm accepted for a pacemaker, I could live without one, and it should be my choice, or when symptoms get worse. I now have a Morbitz Type 1 heart block, which will soon become Type 2.

*

"Hyung!"

I'm shaken awake by Taehyung. I can hear my alarm ringing incessantly. I've overslept again.